I Didn't Give a Shit.. Until I Met Him

I Didn't Give a Shit.. Until I Met Him (8)

Maybe this is actually a sign that fate has shown me that it's time to put this gun to good use. I picked it up then right away dropped it. It was the weapon my dad used to kill my mom, it was hard to pick it up after knowing that it murdered my mom. But I have to, i'm tired of my life, i'm tired of the shit I go threw everyday. I'm tired of waking up depressed, sleeping depressed and living depressed.

Now that I finally have something I can kill myself with, there's no way I'm letting that go. I picked it up once again and pointed it to my head. Finally after all these years wishing this moment would happen, It finally will. I took out a deep breathe and let out a smile. A smile of victory, but for some reason it felt like I was faking the smile. Why would I be faking a smile? I'm happy aren't I? I feel like i'm leaving someone. What the fuck? I have no one to leave behind. I'm alone and this needs to be done.

What about Derek?

What about him? He'll probably be happy I'm gone and I'm more happy to leave him.

You're lieing to yourself, Alex.

SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M NOT LIEING TO MY SELF!!

Someone's in denial.

I was about to unleash the fury and curse every single swear word known to man, but it finally occured to me that I'm argueing with myself, inside my head.

I was just about to pull the trigger when I brought the gun down. What's wrong with me? Im not a fucking pussy.

I put the gun to my head once more. I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger ........

Authors Note:THE END! I hope you liked my story, I had a lot of fun writing it. Sorry it was so short, and Derek didn't actually get to change her, but what can you do?

JOKES. That's not the end, heres the rest,

I didn't hear anything. A noise a gunshot, nothing and the fact that i'm talking to myself concludes im still alive.

"God dammit" I cursed. There were no more bullets in the gun. I knew it was too good to be true. I sighed, but for some reason it seemed to be a sigh of relief.

I am not relieved, I'm fuckin' disappointed.

I looked at the time. Shit. I only had 8 minutes to make it to school. Earlier I changed into pajama pants and a loose shirt that says 'Dipshit' so i'll just go in that.

I put on my converse and headed out with no breakfast. My mom better be proud of me, I ditched breakfast so I can make it to school on time.

When I got to school I immediatly headed for gym class.

"Wow, only 3 minutes late James. That's a new record" Mr.B said as I walked through the door.

"Wow, lost 3 pounds Buffinton. That's a new record" I retorted smirking. His smirk turned into a scowl.

"Take a seat Alex" He ordered angerly. Even though I wanted to piss him off more, I did take a seat. I was too tired to do anything.

After my retortment in gym nothing out of the ordinary happened. I am currently walking to math class but was suddenly stopped by Derek.

"Hey Alex" He greeted happily. He was so cute when he was happy, it just made me -- I'm not going to finish that thought. Nothing makes me happy.

"Umm.. hi"

"Did you settle in your house yet?" He asked.

"Yup" I answered popping the p, covering any hint of sadness that may show.