I Didn't Give a Shit.. Until I Met Him

I Didn't Give a Shit.. Until I Met Him (13)

My first instict was to step back and push him away so I did. I think I'm letting this go too far. I looked at him and that expression that I hated was on his face. He looked like he was wondering if he did anything wrong, and truthfully, he did nothing wrong. But the bitch that I am wouldn't let him know that. I took another step back, and more until I found myself in the kitchen.

"Alex! Where's Derek?" Cute little Anthony asked.

"He's in the bathroom," I lied smoothly. I really need to get out of here, but it's raining so heavily. The more I stay here, the more I feel bad for what I'm doing to Derek. I should just let him know that this needs to stop. That there is no way we're going to get into anything.

"So, are you his girlfriend?" Anthony asked innocently.

"No.." I trailed off sounding unsure of myself. I'm not Derek's girlfriend, and I will never be. How come that thought makes me feel empty? Did I even want to be Derek's girlfriend? If my life was different, then yes I probably would. But going everything that I went through, it's not the best idea to have any boyfriend. To even have a friend in general.

"I think Derek likes you!" Anthony took a bite of one of his fries. This kid eats a lot! 

"Why is that?" I asked genuily curious of the answer.

"Well, he's always happy when he see's you, and he never wants you to leave." I had to admit, I was a bit flattered with what he said, and I wanted to believe it was true but there was still that part of me that knew it wasn't. If this is Derek's lifestyle, then he is happy most of the time.

"What's taking Derek so long?" Anthony whined. That's true. What is taking his so long? I knew he wasn't in the bathroom, so was he avoiding me? I wouldn't be surprised if he did. But, it wasn't fair that he was avoiding me in his own house, I really get out of here. As soon as Anthony went back to eating his lunch that never seems to end, I slowly walked outside the kitchen and to the front door. There's one problem though: I don't know where the front door is. This house is way too big. My instict told me to go right so I did and I just walked through the long hallway hoping the front door was somewhere here. After walking for a while and not reaching the door, I walked the other way. They should have a map taped on each door, to make it easier to get around this big ass house.

After another few minutes, I finally made it to the front door. Just as I was about to open it, the loudest thunder I ever heard erupted outside. I debated whether I should actually leave. There was a reason I was here, I'm pretty sure it had something to do with my car. If it did, then I can't drive home. And if I can't drive home it means I'm going to have to walk in this thunder storm. I decided, I'll just sit on the porch and if the whether got better I'll walk home.

I opened the door and the cold wind slapped my face. I took a deep breathe and took a step outside, only to find someone already sitting on the porch. I knew it was Derek, but I don't know why he was here. Is there where he was avoiding me? I made him sit in this horrible weather. Guilt washed over me. It wasn't fair to Derek.

Derek stayed in that one position, and never turned around. It was either he doesn't realize I'm here or he is mad at me. I'm hoping it's the first one. I took a deep breathe for what I'm about to do next..

I sat beside him and tapped him on the shoulder. He slowly tilted his face so it was in front of me. Before I could stop myself, I crashed my lips to his. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it. He responded to me immediately, kissing me back with just as much passion. Even though it was so cold outside, I didn't feel it. I don't feel that cold air that anyone outside is feeling, because when I'm with Derek, everything is different. I am different. I'm not the miserable bitch I usually am. I broke the kiss to get some air. I hadn't realized how close we had gotten as we were kissing.