Avatar Rose: Justice

Chapter 17: A Disease

I open my eyes groggily, slight confusion filling my mind as I do so. Huh. No nightmares. Since when did that start?

I'm not complaining.

I sit up and stretch, looking around the room. It has a bed and dresser in it, along with a closet. I only have a few outfits in the dresser and my sketchbook, but that's it. Sometimes I envy Liesel and Gwen for having so many prized possessions, things that are precious to them.

There's a light knock on the door. I don't answer, and eventually the person opens it.

Nathan.

"Yeah?" I ask expectantly.

He's acting weird. He stuffs his hands into his pockets awkwardly. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good, for once."

"Are you okay?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Why?"

He stares at me, puzzled. "You kinda beat Gwen to a pulp last night. Oh, and burned a building down."

I laugh, rolling my eyes. "Very funny. If I beat up Gwen, I'm pretty sure I'd remember it. Damn, I would've taken photos even."

Come to think of it, last night is pretty fuzzy. Actually, more than fuzzy. The last thing I remember is in the middle of the meeting when Gwen was yelling at me. After that, I don't even have a vague clue.

Did I get drunk or something?

"So... You don't remember anything?" Nathan says.

"I guess not. Did I actually beat up Gwen?"

Nathan nods and shrugs. "And burned a house down, but whatever, no big deal," he adds with a tone of sarcasm tinting his voice.

Yeah, maybe I should be a bit worried that I don't remember anything from last night. It's almost like a blacked out.

Nathan watches me carefully as I slip out of bed, pulling an oversized, gray sweatshirt over my head and over my tank top. I leave in my braid from last night, not caring how messy it probably looks.

"Rose, I'm worried about you."

The words sit there in silence for a long minute. My eyes shoot daggers into his, and I see him having a hard time keeping my gaze.

"What? Because I can't remember anything from last night? Maybe it's the amnesia acting up again," I answer.

He scratches the back of his head uncomfortably. "It's not just that. You were acting weird. Like really weird. That wasn't you last night, was it?"

"Of course it was!" I snap defensively, even though I'm not so sure myself. "Who else would it be?"

"Well, let's see. Everytime you start trying to kill everyone and burn houses down, your eyes change colors. And then they flash back normal, and you don't remember a thing of what just happened. Oh, and you also got evil Vatuu powers. But I wonder who in earth it could be!" He says, getting angry as well.

I find tears stinging my eyes, no matter how much I try to fight them back.

There is something wrong with me. Very wrong.

"I'm sorry, okay? Whatever I did last night was most likely something I wasn't aware of. Let's go get breakfast, I'm hungry."

I try to give him a charming smile, but it fades as he doesn't lighten up. I lower my gaze.

"Rose, you're dangerous. You could seriously hurt people if this keeps happening," he murmurs.

I shake my head, smiling once more. "That's the thing. I've always been dangerous, it just took me until recently to realize it. Whenever I get in the picture, everyone dies. I'm a disease, Nathan. Maybe Gwen is right."

He tries to slip my hand into his, but I pull away. "I'm going to get breakfast, whether you're coming or not."

I just don't care anymore

I wish I didn't care. What is wrong with me?

People stare at me as I pass by. I don't mind it that much, until I see my friends. Or I think they are, I'm still not sure.

Gwen glares at me. Her nose has a brace on it, obviously broken. She also has a black eye. It's awfully satisfying.

"Let me guess. You have no idea what happened last night," she growls.

An innocent smile twitches itself on to my lips. "Did I do that to you? Whoops, my bad!"

Liesel bursts into tears. This time, I don't try to comfort her. Xander wraps his arms around her and then glares at me as if it was my fault. Rowan opens his mouth like he's about to say something, but I turn away.

"I'm not really hungry anymore. See ya," I wave my hand in dismissal, trudging back to my room.

Nathan is gone. Good.

I feel my hands shaking. I wait for the tears to come, closing my eyes and almost welcoming them. Maybe it'd feel better to cry.

But they don't come. My eyes remain dry. It's very frustrating.

I lock the door to my bathroom, searching for a razor in the cabinets. Once I find one, I take a blade out.

I slide it against my wrist, watching the blood pour out slowly along with a stinging sensation.

I don't care
I make another cut up my arm.

I don't care
Another.

I don't care.