Never Let This Go (Michael Clifford)

Ch. 12 - Doubt

I wake up the next morning tangled in between sheets and legs. I open my eyes and can't see shit. The room is dark and my glasses are no where to be found. I pat a trail on what I assume is Michael's face.

"Wake up. I can't see." I whine.

He groans and grabs my hand, "You are poking my eyes Eliana."

"Sorry. Do you know where my glasses are?"

Michael grabs my waist and sets me on the unoccupied side of the bed. I feel him getting up and I squint when he turns the lamp on.

"Here," he says handing me my glasses and laying back down, "now be quiet and go back to sleep."

I put my glasses on and I can see again! Thank goodness! I get up from the bed and walk into the restroom. When I look into the mirror I jump. My hair is everywhere and my body has red markings all over the place. The markings are like a map of Michael's passion and love. I love it.

Tracing the one on my chest I think back to all the promises we made to each other last night.

But I can't help but doubt them.

Coming out of my drifting mind I decide to take a shower and get ready for our trip back to Texas.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I climb on Michael once I'm dressed and sway my wet hair in his face.

He wiggles his nose, brings his hand up to his face, "Stop. Go back to sleep. Why is your hair wet?" He asks as an afterthought.

"Because I took a shower. It's twelve already babe, get up we leave in a little bit." I say pulling his hand away from his face.

He opens his eyes and smiles, "Beautiful."

I slap his arm, "Stop. Come on get up."

I get off of him and pull on his arm.

He hesitantly gets up and wraps his arms around my body. "You are beautiful and I'll tell you that when I want, don't tell me to stop."

He picks me up and walks us into the restroom. He sets me down on the counter and moves my hair out of my face.

"So when are you leaving again?"

"Around four. We'll make it back by Monday and I go back to work on Tuesday," I say looking at him. I already feel sad and I feel the need of a shot in the back of my throat. I start to fidget and Michael looks at me with confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Um...nothing. I'm just sad. What are you going to do on your break?" I try to distract him from my wandering mind. I'm already planning in the back of my mind on when and where I'm going to get something to down.

"Eliana, what are you thinking about? I see your mind working. Tell me what's going on."

Michael is looking at me directly with questioning eyes.

"Nothing." I lie. I need to get out of here. This whole situation is making it hard for me to breath.

"First off, I'm going to need you to breath." I look up at him suddenly and with wide eyes. Does he know?

"What?" I exhale.

"I know you are freaking out about this long distance shit but we can make it work." He says looking at me intently.

Okay so he has no idea about my "problem" well it really isn't a big deal...whatever.

"Um yeah I know, I know."

I definitely need a drink now. I don't know who he thinks he is, but I know he's someone that is busy constantly. Why would he go out of his way to make time for me?

Doubt is a scary feeling. It creeps up on you and just festers in your mind. It makes you feel unworthy.

Who am I? I'm just a girl that got lucky enough to cross paths with this amazing man. But does he feel the same? Yeah he can say sweet things in the height of passion but I'm being real with myself right now does he really mean it? I think I'm falling to fast. The fall is just so consuming that I'm obsessed.

Doubt clouds all the good and just shines on all the bad possible outcomes. I feel like our relationship is going to be pulled at so tightly that it's going to snap and then I'll snap with it.

***************************************

HELLO WATTPAD FRIENDS!!!!

How is everyone doing?

So I'm going to try to upload ch. 13 by the end of this week.

sorry i'm so slow at this.

Please comment! please! i love talking to ppl! (on the internet .... in real life it's a completely different story)

Song: William Singe cover of Climax by Usher. WILLIAM SINGE IS BAE. He's soooo talented and amazing and he literally makes my heart melt when I hear him sing. Okay. Check him out.

-addict ❌