Divergent: Peter

Chapter 19

Everything is a blur on initiation day. All the Dauntless are out, running around yelling. Molly, Drew and I were pushing past people on the paths up to the top of the compound (we were trying to get extra practice time) and I stumbled onto this kid and he fell off the path. We weren't very high up, only 15 ft at most, but he was screaming and cursing and holding his leg. Oh well.

As we punch the bags, I can start to hear the room outside filling up. I slip out into the crowd and I swear the temperature is 50 degrees warmer out here than in the training room. On the wall opposite of me, there are screens covering the wall, showing the Dauntless born face their fear landscapes.

When the last girl is finished (I think her name is Marlene), Eric, Max, and the other Dauntless leaders walk out of the room they were watching the simulation from and congratulate her.

Four turns to the line of transfers and says, "Transfers, the order in which you go through the final test was taken from your rankings as they now stand. So Drew will go first and Tris will go last."

I don't pay much attention during Drew and Molly even though I know I should. Drew takes about half an hour and Molly takes half that time but she's louder than him. After my friends, Christina and Will go. 12 minutes and 10 minutes.

Eric calls my name and I walk to where he is standing, holding a syringe full of orange liquid. "Ready?" He says. I nod, trying to go through all of my fears in my head. He leans forward and whispers into my ear, "Just calm down and beat the crap out of her."

Has he seen my previous fear landscape with Tris? Is that who he's talking about? It must be. Again, I nod. I can feel the needle going into the side of my neck and I close my eyes. When I open them again, I am in my old room in Candor, my brother
in front of me, sitting on my bed.

"Hi Peter." Alex says nonchalantly, as if he hasn't died 6 years ago. "What are you doing? You're dead. You killed yourself." He gets up of the bed and walks over to me. "See Peter? That's just it- I didn't kill myself, and we both know it." Wha- what are you talking about?"

"You wanna know a secret? I didn't commit suicide- ha. No, YOU killed me. I remember." I can feel my heartbeat speed up and I try to calm down, but my mouth seems to talk without my permission. "No. No, Alex. It wasn't me. I was- I was just playing around-"
"But Peter, I know it was you. And I've already told everyone. They're on their way right now." My mind goes crazy, thinking of ways to escape, and then I remember: it's a simulation. I stand up straighter and look my brother in the eye.

"Alex, maybe I did kill you. But you can't tell anyone. You never did, and you never will. Ever." I can feel my heart slowing down and I grow more confident. "And you know what? I've never regretted killing you and I never will."

The next thing I know, I am in the forest again, a wall of fire rushing at me. I've been in this fear before, and I refuse to run. I stand there, facing the fire that is about to engulf me. Just as the flames reach me I close my eyes.

Now I'm in the training room. I remember this one. Four uncovers the board, and Tris's name is first, mine second. Four calls out, "Peter in factionless!" There is a moment if panic, and then i remind my sekf its just a simulation.Is this the simulation I was supposed to beat the crap out of her? Oh well, I'll do it anyway.

I find her in the crowd. I grab her hair and pull her to the front, in front if Four. I start punching her, hitting her. Her high pitches scream pierces the air and between the punches, I say, "I... am... not... factionless!"

I keep punching until Tris is gone. I don't know if she's dead or not, but she's not moving. Good enough for me. I close my eyes, waiting to be transported to another simulation.
When I open my eyes, I'm in water. And I'm drowning.

I can't get enough air, and my lungs feel like their full of water, making me sink more. I break the surface, gasping, searching for air, and then I'm pushed under again by the currents. I think back to the first day of Stage 3, and Four saying, "For example, if your drowning, swim deeper,"

I take one more breath then go under, swimming into the blackness, no idea where I'm going, my lungs about to burst. I open my eyes and I'm in my room again, my brother also there. Him holding his favorite weapon to beat me with: a belt.

Once again, my brother is sitting on my bed, looking at the belt as if it was a diamond; what he always did before he beat me. "No. Alex. Please." My voice is a 10 year olds voice, pleading for mercy. I remember this day. This was the day before he died.

"Peter, stop whining. You know you need to get tougher. Come on." I back away from him, shaking my head. "No. No!" Alex closes te distance between us in a few quick strides and swipes the belt at me. It catches my bare arm and I cry out. I manage to crawl around him and under my bed. "Now Peter, don't be stubborn. This is for your own good. You want to be Dauntless, right? Because Dauntless doesn't accept cowards. You'll become factuobless. I'm trying to help you."

I whimper. Alex curses and pulls me out from under the bed. With each crack if the belt against my back, He says, "Come... ON... Peter. You're... just... a... coward."
"No! Stop, Alex! Please stop." I sob.
"If you want me to stop so much, why don't you make me?" His words snap me out of my fear. His voice is taunting, dating me to do something. I never had. But I can now.

I get up off the ground and kick the belt out of his hands. The surprise is clear on his face. With his mouth open, I punch his jaw as hard as I can, and he goes down. I kick his side and he gasps. "I'm not a coward. I'm not." I tell him as I punch his nose over and over again, blood spurting out.

Even though he is bigger than me, I pull him up by the collar of his shirt and pin him up against the wall. His face is covered in blood, along with half of his white shirt. "IM NOT A COWARD!" I scream in his face. He laughs, and blood runs from the side of his mouth.

"Kill me then. I know you want to. Kill me! I'm going to die anyway. They'll kill me if you don't. I'm Divergent," he laughs again. I think he's going crazy. "I'm gonna die! Ha! That will stop me! Coward! You'll be factionless!"

"No! I'm not! YOU'RE THE COWARD!" I realize that I'm yelling at a punching bag, and I immediately stop. Four is watching me. "Peter! What did I just say? Punch the bag and you'll pass initiation."

What? I thought this was Lauren's fear? I guess it's mine now. I do the exact same thing as last time, missing the bag, everyone laughing, getting frustrated, then sitting on the ground, waiting for my heart rate to go down.

When it does, I find myself sitting on train tracks. Damn it. I can hear a whistle in the distance. I try to get up, but I'm stuck to the ground. I start to panick. The train whistle getting closer, my heart beat getting faster. My heart rate. I have to keep it slow.

I take deep breaths, trying to calm down. It works. Next thing I know, I'm sitting in the chair from te Aptitude Test, waiting for the Stiff to return with my results. He comes in, carrying a stack of papers. "Okay, Peter. You ruled out all the factions but Abnegation. No other faction will accept you. Welcome!" I sit up fast.

"No. That's not right. I'm Dauntless. Something's wrong."
"No," The man says, still smiling. "It says it right here: Abnegation. You're one of us now!"
"Nonononononono. You've got everything wrong. I'm not Abnegation. I'm not 'selfless' or 'giving' or whatever that crap is."
''Oh, but you are."
"No! I hate Stiffs! I hate them! I hate you!"
"Peter," he says, his voice scolding, "That's not what Abnegation say!"
"Argh! No! Forget it!" I put my head in my hands and sit there, as usual, waiting for my heart best to go down.

When I put my head up, I am in an all white room and Drew and Molly are standing over me, Drew saying something. "I'm not putting up with this crap anymore, Peter. Your not my boss."
"What are you talking about?" I stand up, facing them.
"I'm taking about you trying to kill everyone so you can be at the top."
"I'm not trying to kill anyone. I just want to make sure that you guys aren't factionless."
Molly snickers. "So were going to be factionless without YOUR help? That's how the universe works, isn't it? Peter try's to help people by throwing them over chasms."
"I-" Drew cuts me off. "No, Molly. Remember? That's not what happened. He was just trying to scare her out of initiation. That's all. Even though everyone knows nothing's going to scare her away. Hey Peter, you know who seems like better friends? Tris. Will. Christina. Uriah. You know what that would make it? 6 against 1."
"No. You don't understand-"
Drew talks through me again. "WE don't understand? I think we understand. We're not your little puppy dogs anymore. We're not gonna sit, or rollover, or attack whenever you tell us to. Goodbye Peter."

They turn and start walking away from me. I chase after them. "No. Drew, Molly, please." I put my hand on Drew's shoulder, but it goes right through, as if he were a ghost. "You're by yourself, Peter." They disappear into thin air. "No. NO! Wait!" I kick the nearest wall until my foot start to ache. I slide my back down the wall until I'm sitting on the ground.

When I look up, I'm staring at a wall. The wall of the fear landscape room. I get up and walk to the door. Eric meets me there, holding a sleek black case. "Congrats. 9 fears, 15 minutes, 17 seconds,"
What? 15 minutes? How is that possible? I had had 8minutes the other day, and now I have 15?!

He opens the case and shows me a syringe full of orangish/brownish liquid. "If anyone asks about this? I forgot about it." I nod, even though I don't understand what he is saying. "Meet me up here after all these people are gone," he continues. "We need to talk."




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Wow! Okay, that took a while. Is it ok? The next few chapters are gonna be fun!!! Sorry it took so long to update. I've been super busy with moving and stuff. Please keep commenting and voting! Love you guys! Thank you to my followers on Instagram who helped me with some ideas!

-Sophie
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