Desire {Christian Delgrosso Fanfiction}

J.

"What do you mean you're dating now?" Justin widened his eyes, questioning me after I finished telling him everything about me and Christian.

"Can't really tell if you're excited about this or if you're not." I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him, waiting for a sign that would show how he actually felt about it.

"What? I mean...yeah, of course I am. If you're happy with him, I'm happy for you..." He shrugged, not quite showing how happy he was supposed to be.

"So, I have your support in this?"

"You always have my support in anything, you know that."

I nodded my head, letting out a sigh of relief. I didn't quite believe that he was happy as he claimed to be, but then again why wouldn't he be happy? Or why would he lie to me about it?

"So, are you going to see him today?" Justin sniffed before sighing and looking over at me.

"Hell to the yeah. In fact, I want to see him every single day. I can't believe I used to despise him and now I'm having a massively pathetic crush on him. Well, actually, he despised me way more than I despised him but he also confessed that he-" I started talking way too much again, I always did that when I was over-excited about something, and Justin cut me off abruptly.

"Shut up!" He yelled at me, I took a few steps away from him. I didn't expect that at all and out of sudden fear, I closed my eyes and held my breath. "I don't give a fuck about your shit! I don't care about what you and Christian do or say and more importantly, I don't even want to listen to this shit!" He continued and for the first time in my entire life, I was terrified of him. Justin was never like that towards me. I was always a close friend and no matter what happened between us, he wouldn't dare talk like that. I held my eyes closed; I was too scared to open them, I didn't want to face Justin's possibly angry face.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks and my mind was so confused. I didn't know how to act to that, what to do or what to say. I just stood there like a helpless little girl and I hated myself for that because that's not me. I never do that. After Justin's yelling, the place fell into silence. We were sinking into the quiet and soon enough, all that was there to be heard, was me sobbing. "Oh no...(Y/N) don't cry! I never meant to hurt you..." Justin said in an apologetic tone and my shaky voice filled the room. "But you did, Justin!" I stated, trying to control my tears. "I'm so sorry.." He came closer to me, ready to hug me when I pushed his arms away. "Don't you fucking touch me." I said angrily, wiping away my tears, my eyes meeting his. He looked sad, indeed, but he shouldn't have acted like that in the first place. Why would he yell at me? Why would he say those words? Wasn't he happy that I was finally in a relationship? Where did I go wrong...?

"I'm sorry, it's not your fault." Justin started mumbling and I watched him, keeping a distance. "It's just that..I'm afraid you'll start caring less about me and more about Christian. I'm the one who's always been here for you but eventually, you'll move on, forget me and I'll just be left alone with my own demons again. You know how important you are to me and if finding a boyfriend means that you'll leave me behind, then no, I'm not happy for you. I can not be happy for you."

"Is this what it's about?" I widened my eyes, feeling like my head would explode any moment. What!? What was he talking about? How nuts must he have been to think that way? "Are you fucking insane? I would never leave you behind...you're family to me and family means nobody gets left behind...or forgotten."

He laughed at my Lilo & Stitch reference and nodded, understanding my words. I calmed myself down, smiled at him, giving him a 'I'll always be here' look before he walked over and hugged me tightly. Justin was so emotional that I could even smell it. He buried his face into my neck, his arms holding way too tightly my waist. His heart was pounding like crazy, I could feel it against my chest. Jesus Christ.

"Okay, Justin, too tight.. let me breathe." I struggled to say and he laughed as he let me go. I took a few breaths before being able to talk again. "As I said. I'll always be here and you have no reason to be upset over that."

"Honestly, I'm out of words. I love you."

"I know." I smirked softly and he rolled his eyes at me, giving me the 'same old you' look.

"Wait. Was that a 'Star Wars' reference?" Justin shook his head, I winked smirking again. "Yep!"

"Oh God." He facepalmed, shaking his head. "What a nerd."

"I'm a nerd but you're hanging out with me so who's the real winner here, huh?" I smirked, watching him running out of words. "That's right!" I said, laughing at him.

Justin was smiling at me and he had this look on his face where someone could tell what he was thinking of. He was thinking about how I didn't change all this time that we were friends -and we've been friends for years- and I hadn't changed no matter how many situations we went through, whether together or not. I could tell he loved that about me because every time he saw me talk with puns or being a sarcastic dork, he was taken back to the very first moment he ever met me, the day he had fallen for his beloved Selena. What a day!