I close me eyes hoping that this isn't real. I never get a chance to talk still I keep moving my mouth hoping for better praying for worse. Thoughts swirling around my head ignoring logic choosing the thoughts I want. Loved by many but never felt like that. Writing my feelings instead of telling them. Crying at night to hide my inner darkness. Smiling in the day hoping my teeth shines past my fears. Pulled away from lover by loved ones. Trying to hide but I always fail. Ugly tears to hide the beauty and a pretty smile to hide the ugly. A chosen death is to be frozen sleeping on the snow just to stay. Talking only to help prove my point. Frozen to death to be frozen in time. Abused, raped yet I still keep my head up. Trying to run yet I am stuck in ice. Black eyes filled with depression. A curling smile in the sight off blood. Blacking out just to make something pretty. Improving myself only to run faster and farther. Fantasizing being with someone i will never meet. Knowing my dreams will only last one night. Pins and needles piercing through my skin hoping to feel something. Love forever carved on me. The songs get louder, I get quieter. Sitting still only to breath. Dying my hair to show that I am cool. Feet aching from running too much. Flying only to fall. Sleeping only to dream. Nightmare my dreams I love the most scaring me yet I don't wake up. Staying up all night just to see the sun rise. A new day scares me. Never trusting anyone fully as I used to. Seeing pictures of who the world wants me to be. Denying the truth only to hear the lies. Sleeping on the day just so I can't see things shining brighter than me. Walking around at night only to feel the darkness creeping up. Yet some how I keep going.I know it gets better moving forward to feel the breeze. And somehow I am still alive breathing quietly and speaking when told moving on and moving forward.
