forgiveness?

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Violet eyes glare down at me his shades now holding back his stray hairs. "Let's head back and patch you up" leaning down he went to pick me up. "No don't touch me" I warned unconvincingly. Only flinching for a secound he soon scooped me up into his arms. "Put me Down" I hissed toppling myself out of his arms. Hitting the snow I let out a grunt in annoyance and pain. "Atleast let me help" he growled getting more pissed. No replying I didn't look up only at the bodies that scattered the floor like mine did but I was still breathing. "F#ck this!" a grunt sounded as I was hoisted over his shoulder. "put me down" I demanded hitting at his back. "If I did it's not like you'd be getting anywhere anytime soon" he snarled in retort. Unwillingly I was brought back to his cabin, he swung open the door with a sigh. The place was a mess. "Seems Allen got pissed and wrecked my house again" he joked through a frown. Placing me down on a half torn sofa I glanced around it was dark outside and the chill was starting to eat away at me. Matt ran off somewhere leaving me to hatch a plan. He didn't deny killing the person therefore I assume it must true. Burying my head in my hands I took in a deep breath. The pain in my leg was nothing compared to this betrayal. Maybe I could jump out of the window again. All the exhaustion was weighing on me. From the cruise, to meeting my family to the graveyard to getting kidnapped. Nothing had been peaceful for a secound. A shadow reappeared Matt held at a knife his over arm full of familiar medical equipment. My head felt light but I wasn't going to pass out now. Placing everything down beside me he held out the knife. Go on get it over with... I instantly regretted my thoughts as he sliced the bottom of my jeans. Cringing at the sight. The pain was enough let alone how ghastly it looked. Regret passed his soft featured. I expected him to ask what to do but instead he did exsactly what was needed. Spitting the blood on the floor he quickly got the bullet out. A needle and thread sat on the side and a dusty bottle of alcohol.

Completely consentrating on my wound he didn't dare look up at me as if ashamed. Taking the needle he struggled to thread it I could clearly see how much his hands were jittering as he was becoming frustrated. My anger compressed as I reached out placing my hands round his to steady them. "Let me do it" I sighed my voice weak and cracking. Taking it from him I easily thred it. After splashing alcohol in the wound he sawed it up. Surprisingly neatly as if he'd done this before. Those scars... When I first patched him up, he didn't need me to look after him he knew how to care for himself he just chose not to. Why did he keep me around then.

After he finished he bandaged it. Leaning back into the couch I held my breath as the wound stung. Counting my blessings I was lucky it didn't come in contact with my bones unfortunately I still won't be able to walk properly for a couple of months. Disappearing again back into a room I waited while my brain spited me. "Here you can leave now if you want..." a walking stick was placed into my lap. The regret in his face caused me to freeze. Why did he give me the chance to leave. Sitting there he waited for me to go but I didn't budge. Looking down at my lap my hands tightly clutched the stick. It feels like I'm the one in the wrong.

"E-explain..." I managed to mumbled through gritted teeth my emotions getting the better of me. Filling the seat compress beside me he let out a long sigh. "I've seen the way the treat you... How they broke into your house. They'd already ruined my life enough hurting the animals. It just gave me all the more reason to teach them a lesson. It's not like this hasn't happened be..." he cut himself short his temper rising. "So this has happened more then once" I stated more then asked. His hand took mine "I'm sorry really I am I can't imagen how much of a psychopath I look to you right now but please understand this is part of my life I was raised to be a killer" not lookin him in the eye the way his voice cracked and the way his voice felt. "Why am I still here then?" I spoke spitefully. "isnt it obvious" he sighed, "I f#cking love you" his words weighted down on me this was the first time he'd admitted it. "No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop loving you" his hand squeezed mine he was pleading for.me to reply.

"Matt..." I stated "I've loved you in many ways... but that doesn't mean I can forgive what happened today" I breathed. Turning to him his face was covered in tears he looked so fragile the once strong man I met broken down in a matter of secounds. "Don't forgive me but please don't leave" his voice came out as a whisper I couldn't stand how distort he was. Let out a sigh of relief I pulled him into me. "As long as you never do it again..." I couldn't belive my words this man in my arms had murder people in cold blood yet my heart couldn't hate him. "Also I need some time to think ok... This is a bit to much" I couldn't help but start crying breaking down myself. His hands cupped my face as he planted a kiss on my forehead. "Take all the time you need chickadee I'll be waiting" drying my eyes I tried to conceal my sobs as I struggled to my feet. Dragging myself out the door I left him behind "I'll be at my house..." I stated so he knew I wasn't actually leaving him. Hearing a grunt in response I made my way home. My leg burning everystep I took. Reaching the door I locked it behind me before collapsing on my couch. Closing my eyes I decided I would think once I nave my energy back.

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