Broken Defender

Chapter Fifteen ~ Mutual

I stared back at the ivory popcorn texture of my ceiling, letting my mind race at a hundred miles per hour as yesterday's memories seeped into my thoughts. Was yesterday even real? I clutched at the aging fabric of my pale purple covers, letting every feeling, every thought swirl through my mind like a familiar song. His smile, his laugh, his lips pressed against mine in lustful kisses... it had all been real, too real in fact. And my brain was all too fixated upon the recollection. But more so, my thoughts raced as I continually attempted to make sense out of the impossible truth that is his attraction to me... Harry likes me... Harry's crazy about me. It doesn't seem right. It seems impossible that such an attractive person such as himself could find desire in someone so plain as I had at first thought I was. Somehow his attention made me feel better about myself, and my appearance. I mean it's very likely that a boy as cute as he, could have easily fought his way into the heart of any girl in school... yet he was determined to gain my attention. He doesn't want Rachel Martin, or her friends Tianna and Catherine. He wants me. I smiled haughtily, letting that information play in my head as I secretly laughed in Rachel's face. To my knowledge she doesn't even know who Harry is, but I'm sure she would find him attractive... who wouldn't? He's perfect... The way his eyes sparkle when they pierce through mine. The way his strong jawline meets his chin, only enhancing the broadened, electric white of his smile. The way his dimples dig into his cheeks, making my head spin in writhing attraction. He's physically perfect... the way his shoulder muscles tense, his tattoos moving with each flex. I like his tattoos now. At first they had been an eyesore, something of imperfection... but now they only made him more interesting, more alluring. They were like a road map, or a chart... marking the things he had done. Recording memories easily into his skin like pen and parchment. I loved them. And as I had done quite often upon meeting Harry, I allowed my mind to race. I secretly wondered if maybe some day in our future I would be a part of the marking map that was his tattooed body. Would I gain a spot? Might my name... or at the very least an S find residence upon him in perfectly darkened black ink?

I was snapped out of my daze all too quickly by the beeping sound of my weekday alarm. I had forgotten to turn it off, as I had on many other weekends done. But I sat up out of habit; looking back down at my bed fondly... the bed we had kissed on. Disregarding the Magic 8 Ball's negative answer, he took me in his arms, pulling me up into his lap and kissing me for another decently lengthy minute or two before I had pushed him away again, claiming we should stop. And he left shortly after that per my request, as I wanted to be positive that he would be gone before my mom got home. I don't know why I had wanted to hide him from her... maybe I didn't anticipate another sex talk. I get those all too often, which I find odd - as even though I'm quite the hormonal teenager - until Harry had come along I had gotten absolutely no action or attention from the opposite sex.

"You hungry?" My mom asked, digging through the kitchen cabinets in what looked like a mad search for something. I'll admit I was very hungry... but upon Harry's departure just yesterday we had made plans for this morning... plans to get breakfast together. "No." I lied, casually looking into the mirror in our living room, checking my appearance. I looked pretty good, or at least I know Harry would think so. "I'm off work today." My mom spoke happily as I looked back at her in sudden surprise. I had to choke back a gasp. I hadn't expected her to be off today. What would I do about Harry? I was nervous... which seemed odd. Why would this frighten me so? And why did I not particularly want her to meet him? She had to be suspicion... I was sure of that. I mean I couldn't have casually seen him as often as I had without her getting suspicious. "I thought I'd go to church this morning. You want to come?" She asked, nodding at my prepared attire. I was wearing a long sleeved floral t-shirt, and light wash jeans, accompanied by a jacket. I certainly was prepared to go out, but not to church. I wasn't even wearing a dress. "Or are you dressing for someone else?" She asked inquisitively. Why did she say someone and not something? Why would she say that? Is she onto me? I cleared my throat. And although on the inside I was panicking, I attempted to play it cool. "I got cold so I got dressed." I lied again... my second lie today. It isn't common of me to lie. "I'll stay in mom. I have homework." I said, finishing my little pie of deception with a final fib, the cherry on top. I bit my tongue in regret, feeling instantly guilty for being so deceitful. But in no way did I plan to fess up... after all I didn't want her thinking there were darker reasons for me to lie about Harry. She said nothing more, finishing her church preparations and leaving within the next ten minutes. And how lucky that she had chosen to go to church today, how splendidly lucky this is. I reveled in the understanding, planning my day in concordance. I could hang out with Harry unbeknownst to my mother at least until noon.