Broken Defender

Chapter Twenty ~ Unwanted Attention

It had been one week since our movie date... one week since Harry had opened up to me about his dad, and incidentally since I had done the same with him. One week since the moment I really truly felt like I was beginning to trust Harry, to know Harry. It was funny now, looking back; realizing that just three weeks ago I hadn't known he existed. Now we were inseparable. We had spent every possible waking moment together... yet my mom still hadn't mentioned him. She had her suspicions, obviously. She caught sight of the two of us one night as he was walking me up the front steps to say goodnight. Luckily she made her presence known before he had a chance to kiss me... but she noticed the chemistry between us. She wasn't so easily blinded as I had hoped she would be. That was the night I introduced her to him... as a friend. Harry understood. He wasn't hurt by the demeaning classification of friend, as he was perfectly aware of my fear. But my mom wasn't stupid. She only pretended to brush off her anxiety, extending a hand to shake his and smiling the widest, and fakest smile she could muster. She wanted to pretend that this wasn't scaring her as much as it was, so she didn't mention the obvious attraction Harry and I had for one another. She didn't mention my hand in his, or even the sparkle in his eye when I said goodnight... but I saw it. She saw it too, and the look in her own eyes showed everything but relaxation. She was worried... but she was waiting. She was waiting for the right moment to mention the subject that was my constant nearness with Harry. But why? What had her purposefully waiting to address such a prominent issue? Was she waiting on him to slip up and hurt me so that when she came to my rescue, her words of wisdom would not go ignored? Was she afraid I would disregard her insight, blinded by the sheen of my knight's shining armor? Was she frightened he would poison my thoughts, or take advantage of me? Maybe it was all of those things... but then maybe she was playing it safe because she wanted me to be happy. She didn't want to put notions and fears into my head. She didn't want me to be afraid that Harry would leave me, that Harry would hurt me. Maybe she was waiting to talk to me about this because she wanted me to feel love... to experience the churning feeling in my stomach every single time he looked at me. To feel light-headed when he kissed me. For my heart to pound against my chest erratically every single moment I would remember that someone wanted me, that someone was crazy about me. She wanted me to feel absolutely, totally and thoroughly convinced inside of myself that I could fall in love... if only just for one moment.

It was November now... and the days were growing colder, as were the nights. This Tuesday morning brought on a still, dripping rainfall. I dressed accordingly for the weather today, pairing floral slacks with a purple wool sweater, finally covering up with the denim jacket Harry had leant me on a chilly night now two days prior. School days passed as they always seemed to, drolly and uneventful... that was until lunch. Lunch was always eventful, whether that was due to the conversations of Harry, and Zayn, or just my delight with being in Harry's company. I had become a fixture at their table actually, and I was slowly but thoroughly learning the names of each one of Zayn's friends. I still thought it odd, that a girl as innocent as I, could find myself surrounded by these kinds of guys. They weren't the clean-cut, well-dressed boys on campus. They were all uniquely, and casually dressed, donning grubby jeans, and hand me down rock music t-shirts. They were, in the eyes of teachers and even most students, the wrong kind of crowd to affiliate with. Even I had found this table to be intimidating at first. And why wouldn't I? They almost looked like a gang, with their grungy clothes, and unapproachable demeanors. They acted tough, or at least most of them did. Zayn didn't act tough... he didn't have to. Everyone knew he could beat the hell out of most of the other guys in school, so no one questioned his bravado... but he didn't have to put on a purposefully smug face, or pretend to be a tough guy... because he was tough. Somehow Harry didn't have to fool anyone either... he was perfectly okay with wearing a smile. He, unlike the others, didn't act like he had anything to prove, but at the same time he, unlike Zayn, didn't seem to have a chip on his shoulder. He was the safe guy, the one good seed in an otherwise glum and dismal group of rebellious teenaged boys.