Notes and Kisses

Once

Once

“Are you M?”

                 That’s a question I’d been wanting for him to answer. I knew that he might be M. He just had to admit that to me already. I wouldn’t judge him or be mad at him for doing that, all he had to do was say the truth.

                 But I did something else.

                  “What’s that?” I asked, standing up.

                 He looked at me in bewilderment. “What’s what?”

                 I sniffed, and looked around. “Something’s… Ugh,” I grunted. Then I turned to him with a wicked smile. “Did you just fart?”

                 He’s reaction was contorted with a lot of expression… surprised, confused, worried, mad, crazy… He didn’t really expect that coming.

                 I did that because I didn’t want to hear his answer. I already had this thought that he might be M. I decided to just read Aaron’s diary first. The entry that he told me had something to do with this thing that was happening to me. There might be some answer there or clue that might help me with this mystery.

                  “I’ll see you later, Stephen,” I told him after. Okay, skipping classes was not really a good thing. But right now, all I wanted to do was to get over with this mystery about M. I was so close in figuring out who he really was. So close… and I was almost there.

                 I went to the park, because I couldn’t go home just yet or else mom would know that I skipped class. She would surely scold me for that.

                 I found my usual spot—the spot where I usually seat as I watched Stephen do his thing on his skateboard—and took Aaron’s diary out of my bag. I turned it to the other side and flipped it open. I started reading the end entry…

                 Carter,

                              Should I do it? Accept his offer? But… isn’t that too complicated? What if you won’t like it? I want to get closer to you and not you get mad at me.

                               Ugh! Why is this so difficult.

                 Aaron..

                 Peace out!

                 That was the last entry.

                 My heart was beating at an irregular state. Should I continue reading? I should if I wanted to have some answers, but why was there something inside me, telling me to stop and just wait for the right moment? Didn’t I wait enough? How long do I have to wait?

M’s mysterious identity would be revealed once I read the other entries. I didn’t want to assume, but I think, Aaron was able to mention who that M guy was here. Maybe that was why he asked me if I read it all.

                 I closed the diary. I was just going to read it later tonight at my room. Now, I wondered what should I do to my remaining three hours? Ride a bicycle, maybe? Or eat? Oh! How about I write a poem as well and leave it here with M’s name? Would he be able to see that?

                 I brushed that thought away. I was not good in writing a poem anyway. For sure, it would end up crappy. Maybe I should just go home, face mom and her scolding and finally go to my room so that I could finish reading Aaron’s diary.