Thomas's POV:
"Do you really think we should tell them?", I asked Newt.
"Yes, I do. I've known these shanks for a while now and I'm pretty sure they won't make a big deal out of it."
---
After our make out session, Newt and I had decided to tell the others about the way we felt. I was still doubting whether it was the right decision though.
---
"Really?"
"Thomas, why are you acting so unsure? If you don't know, then just let me go."
I cringed at the mention of my full name. He'd never called me Thomas before.
"It's not about our relationship. I already told you, I love you. I'm not embarrassed by my feelings at all. I'm just afraid they might hurt you. I want you to be safe."
"That's sweet but I don't need your bloody protection, Thomas."
I looked up, Newt's sudden harshness startled me. His face was lacking any emotion.
"I think you do to be honest. Just look at yourself, Newt! Look at what you've done, look at your wrists, your limp! I can't just stand back, letting you hurt yourself."
"I don't want you to have to worry about me."
"Are you serious?"
"Does it look like I'm bloody kidding?", Newt replied.
"No, I'm sorry."
"It's okay", Newt's voice softened.
"You honestly deserve so much better."
That sentence broke my heart. How could he think so poorly of himself?
"Please stop it Newt, I chose you. I will always choose you! You don't even realize how 'bloody' special you are."
"But..."
I cut him off, I couldn't stand the way he talked about himself, as if he were nothing, as if he were better off dead...
"I don't mind protecting you! I will help you get through this. You'll be fine", I said, eager to believe myself. I needed him to be fine.
"Are you sure?"
"A hundred percent", I smiled.
"Do you really want to put up with me?"
"Definitely!"
"But don't you get what that means?", he asked.
"Tell me..."
"It means having conversations like this every day! No matter how many time you'll tell me you care, I will never be able to believe you. Never."
"We'll see", I responded.
I'd find a way to make him believe me. I had to.
---
"Thank you for everything, Thomas."
"Why do you keep calling me Thomas?", I blurted out.
"I don't know. Why?", he shrugged, though I knew there was a reason behind it.
"I prefer to be your Tommy."
"Good that, Tommy", Newt smirked.
---
"So shall we tell the others?", Newt asked me.
"Yes, you were right. We need to tell them. Who cares about what they'll think!"
"Exactly! That's the spirit."
"Let's go!", I cheered.
---
"There's something we need to tell you", I started. Newt gave my hand a quick squeeze, which I really appreciated.
"Well go on and tell us ya shank", Minho said.
"Tommy here is my boyfriend", Newt stated proudly.
Now it was my turn to give his hand a quick squeeze. We smiled at each other.
"That's cool I guess", Chuck responded.
"As long as you don't act all lovey dovey when I'm around", Minho added, though it was obvious he was only joking.
No one else said anything about it. They all just nodded, so I assumed they were okay with it. Relief washed through me. Newt wasn't going to get hurt and neither was I for that matter. It could have gone so much worse. Telling them hadn't even been that hard.
---
"That went well", Newt told me.
"I guess it's time to celebrate now", I said while giving Newt a cheeky wink.
We walked off towards the forest, which was starting to become our standard hang out spot. I guess we just liked to be alone.
"I told you it wouldn't be that bad."
"You just want to hear you were right, don't you", I laughed.
"Maybe..."
"Okay... You were right. Totally right."
Newt laughed, which made me laugh even more. We just stood there, laughing like idiots and feeling utterly alive.
I looked him in the eyes, which finally sparkled again and leaned in but before I could kiss him, he already kissed me.
"I love you so much Tommy", Newt whispered.
"I love you too and I'm so proud of you."
"We're going to be okay."
I immediately believed him. We'd be okay. We were all in this together and we'd all get out of this together.
---
I held Newt close, hoping I could somehow make him feel loved. I wanted him to trust me and I would do anything to gain his trust.
We watched the sky, waiting for a shooting star. I wondered what Newt's wish would be. I wanted to ask him about it but I didn't want to put him under any pressure, so I decided against it. He had already told me a lot about himself and this question might be a bit too personal.
---
After a while the silence got awkward. If only I could come up with the right thing to say. I didn't want to ruin the moment.
"It's beautiful here, isn't it?", Newt asked as if he could read my thoughts.
"It is; it makes this whole place more bearable."
"You make this whole place more bearable."
"You're cute when you flirt", I told him, for it was true. Whenever he tried to flirt with me, he started blushing, which was really adorable.
"Thanks I guess."
Even though it was dark, I could see he was blushing again.
I placed a soft kiss on Newt's lips. He looked so lovely in the moonlight. I wished he could see himself the way I saw him at that moment.
Newt leaned in and deepened the kiss. My hands were on his back and I was lying on top of him. I touched him and he touched me and I just wanted to get closer and closer. I pushed my body against his. I smirked when I felt his boner. Newt took my shirt off and after that he removed his own shirt.
---
But before they could fully undress, Newt and Thomas both woke up.
YOU ARE READING
If You Don't Know || Newtmas
Fanfic"The maze broke his spirit, the fall broke his leg, the flare broke his mind, the end broke his heart. He was the glue who fixed everybody but himself." Newt's life seemed pointless until the new newbie arrived. Could his life be worth living again?
