It started as an ordinary day... (Connor Ball/ The Vamps fanfic)

Chapter 13 - Changes

Connors P.O.V

I woke up on Emily's sofa and wondered where she was. I stood up and walked through to the kitchen to see her making two cups of tea. "Morning my love," I say from behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist. "Con!" She said and turned around and snuggled into me. "What's the time?" I asked and she replied with "11ish." I laughed and said "we slept in!" And she nodded in agreement.

Emily's P.O.V

Um, con. Sorry about last night," I said, embarrassed about my panic attack. "Em, you can't apologise. You don't choose anxiety, it's not your fault and it's not an issue." He said and hugged me tighter. After he let go I handed him his tea and took a sip of mine. "What're we doing today?" I asked. "Well the boys and I have to film a tour announcement video and you can be in it too! And then not much, just chilling I think." He said. "Sounds good, I have some editing to do for my main channel video and I can film an announcement too." I said and con nodded. "Well head to mine in a bit, go get ready!" Con said and I scurried to the bathroom to get showered. I got out and dried myself. I walked to the bedroom and picked an outfit. I chose black disco pants, a white top with thin straps and a black bandana around my ponytail. I also put on my boots I always wear. I grabbed my green bomber jacket and out it on. "Ready?" I said to Connor who was putting his mug in the sink. "Yep!" He replied and grabbed his shoes and phone whilst I grabbed my bag and chucked everything I need into it. "Let's go," con said and we walked down to the car park and went in cons car since he drove here last night.

Once we were about halfway to the boys flat, Brad rang me so I put it on speaker.

*Phone call with Brad💜*
Hiya Bradley, I'm here with con on speaker
Heya babe you alright?
Yes thanks, up what's up?
Nothing, asking when you and con are coming here hahah
On our way now, five minutes tops!
Brill, later
Byeeeee
*End of phonecall*

"Gotta love brad," con said and I nodded and decided to get my camera out and vlog. "Hi guys, so I'm in the car right now with conorrrrrr," I said and put the camera on him and he waved. "And we're going to see the boys and film something veryyyy exciting! Um, I didn't vlog anything after dinner yesterday so sorry about that. It turns out I had a horrible panic attack but luckily con was there so I wasn't alone, and just thought I'd let you know since its part of my week! Ummm so yeah feeling fragile but continuing on! Talk soon!" I then turned off the camera. "You tell them and not me? I'm offended babe!" Con said. "I'd rather they might get up and leave than you," I said and he nodded. "I wouldn't leave, you know that," he said and I nodded knowingly. "Are you gonna say anything to the boys?" Con said. "Uhh, not yet. I don't want to drag there moods down or burden them." I said and con just nodded and didn't push it further.

We soon arrived at his place and went up. We entered and the boys were watching TV in the lounge. I slipped off my shoes and coat and went and sat on the couch with Connor. "Hello," Connor and I said as we sat down. We got various responses of hellos and hugs. "Should we start filming?" Tris asked and the boys and I agreed. "Okay so your announcement first, then my video yeah?" I asked the boys as I set up the camera. "Yes!" They replied. We filmed them talking and then I jumped up from behind as their support act and I did the same for my video me but vice versa.

After we'd filmed I felt quite anxious about tour and fragile from last night so I decided to sit down and stay calm. The boys decided to come to lithe lounge where I was and sit down. Then Brad turned some music on and out it quite loud. Usually this would be fine but when I feel like this I feel trapped and loud noises don't help. I don't want to spoil their fun so I sit and look at my phone instead. Then they start dancing and jumping. I turn my phone off and look up. I feel a tightening in my chest and my throat goes dry. I get nervous butterfly's in my stomach and get hot cold flushes. My head feels light and my eyes brim with tears. Before I know it cons at my side and I'm crying. I'm having a panic attack in front of all the boys. Con tells  them to turn off the music and Brad runs to get me some water. Tris and James try asking what's wrong but con gets them to leave the room as I obviously don't want a crowd.

After about a ten minute panic attack and ten minute cuddle calm down, the boys came back in and I just hid my face in Connors chest embarrassed. "Em, are you alright?" Brad asked. "Um, yeah." I said and looked up, wiping my eyes with the sleeve of Connors grey hoodie I'm wearing. "What happened?" James asked. "Did we upset you?" Tris added. "No no no! It was just.. It's was just a panic attack, I've got quite bad anxiety, sorry." I said and looked down. "Why're you apologising? There's no need to be sorry babe, it's not your fault." Brad said and came and sat next to me, pulling me into a hug. "I know, but I don't want to hassle you, I feel like a burden." I said as tears spilled over my eyes. "Shhhhh, no no no. Anything but a burden," Connor said and pulled me into him for a cuddle again. I nodded and focused on my breathing.

"Is it a regular thing? And what do you want us to do, or say," James said. "Sometimes I'll have a bad week of anxiety or month, or year or day. But sometimes I'll go a month without having a panic attack or longer. Usually just stay fairly quiet, either take me to another room, somewhere quiet or clear the room I'm in. Sometimes water, just don't ask too many questions or smother me, tell me to focus on you and my breathing. Tell me it can only last up to 20 Minutes, that's usually quite reassuring!" I say and they all nod.

"How come you just had one out of the blue? Like what caused it?" Tris said. "Em had one last night when I went to hers about us leaving her but obviously we're not leaving her here, and about touring and stuff." Connor said for me and I was grateful. "I was still fragile from last night and the thought of so much change scares me but I know if I'm with you all, I'll be fine," I said and they group hugged me.

"Love you em," they said and I laughed and said "love you too!" And we just sat and chatted and watched films for the remainder of the day.

A/N: IM BACK! Hope you enjoyed cxx