Darkness At Dawn • Kylo Ren [1]

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"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

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The constant banging in his head continued to grow louder and louder as he hurriedly stormed across the ship. His destination was the last person he wished to see but also the very person Snoke knew was capable of doing plenty. He was sweating and by the time he reached the door, he looked like a mess. Waves of heat coursed through his blood, a cold sweat glistened in his gaunt features. His eyes sunken and his skin pale, everything ached, everything seemed to be a lie.

He typed in the password with shaky fingers, desperate to know. When the door opened, his breathing hitched and his violent outburst stopped.

Elara was fast asleep on the small bed in the corner. Her wet hair was draped over her forehead and shoulder and her facial expression seemed relaxed and free. For a second, Kylo was blinded and actually felt something but then he realized why he came here.

He ignited his lightsaber, the sound alarming Elara. "I have thought to call you many things but a slut was never one of them until now!"

Flabbergasted, Elara sat up and stared at him, her mouth agape. "Pardon?"

"You heard me." He roared, his voice echoing in the chambers. "You haven't just created a pathetic trait for yourself but a weakness as well."

Elara immediately went to grab her lightsaber, only to realize he had confiscated it. "You dare call me that? Look at yourself Ben, you are a monster!"

He trudged towards her, bringing his saber so close to her chest, she immediately felt uncomfortably hot. "What's the story? You slept with a mechanic to make you feel better?"

"That's not what happened at all!" She glared at him. "If you dare lay a hand on my children, I will personally float you in space myself!"

"Don't threaten me." He came close to her, so close his lips could touch hers. His lightsaber pressed against her skin for a split second, making her call out in agony. "You don't know who I am anymore."

"I don't." Elara whispered, falling back against her bed with a hand covering her wound. "I don't even know who I am anymore. A great Jedi? I think not, but I do know I am a mother and if you lay a hand on my son and daughter, I will kill you."

Kylo's sinister expression on his face dropped and he almost felt something inside of him go light. He shook his head, not stopping until he found out the truth. "They will be without a mother if you don't tell me who's they are."

Blinking her tears away, Elara replied. "They are already without a father Ben, don't take away the one thing they have left."

From under the mask, his face twitched and he felt a single tear begin to creep down his face. His mask was the only thing saving him. "Who's the father Elara?"

A heavy breath escaped her lips as she began to daze off for a moment, trying to block out the pain. "Her name is Bellamy." Elara muttered, slumping against the wall. "And his name is Jude." Her face went still. "They remind me of a cloudless blue sky."

Kylo's eyes widened and he realized he hurt her. All too quickly, his emotions overpowered his well being and he looked away, pacing back and forth. "Twins?"

She nodded slightly, eyeing him carefully.

"What did you say their names are?" He questioned, fiddling with the glove on his hand. He couldn't explain the emotions he was feeling. Was it hate? Anger? Confusion? Jealousy?

"Bellamy and Jude." Elara muttered, the sting on the wound becoming a little too unbearable to block out.

"How old are they?" He asked another question, beginning to feel suffocated in his bionic helmet.

"Six, almost seven."

His eyes widened even more. The helmet soon became to unbearable and he took it off, throwing it across the room with a heavy thud. His face was flushed and his hair was drenched with sweat. "Elara Jane." He began. "Are-are they mine?

"Don't call me that." She shot him down immediately. "Only Ben Solo called me by my full name."

He walked up to her, raising his palm to face her. Sure enough, Elara began to feel her throat tighten. "I told you not to disrespect me."

Elara scratched at her throat, a weak reply escaping her lips. "No, they aren't yours."

Something flashed across his face, something between a mixture of both disappointment and relief. He moved his hand away from her and ignited his lightsaber, destroying everything he came near.

Elara scurried into a corner, knowing she was defenseless and could not reach him. It killed her inside, watching a boy (or man now) she once was helplessly in love with became the shadow of such a menacing villain like Darth Vader. She was mentally hurting watching him like this, arrogant and prejudice. The pain grew to such a point that even Kylo felt it.

"You are hurting." He huffed, his shoulders dropping. "Why?"

"You're always in my mind, why don't you tell me?" She gagged out, knowing that what she had just said would hurt both of them equally.

"Over the years, you built a wall I was unable to get through." He didn't want to face her, his body was numb. "I can no longer see what's inside your special mind."

"You loved me." She stated quietly.

"I loved you." He confirmed.

"Why did you leave me?" She wondered aloud.

"I didn't want to." He explained. "But I had to. I had to finish what he started."

Knowing exactly who she was talking about, Elara continued. "You are being blinded, can't you see?"

Somehow, he knew but it was too late and he didn't want to return to the light side. He was drunk with power and he wanted to become stronger. He shook his head and began to walk towards his helmet. "I don't see anything."

"Not even me?" She croaked, stepping out to put her hand on his cheek. If he saw her, if he truly saw her and the good and forgiveness inside her, she would unveil her secret to him.

For a moment, he bathed in the warmth of her small hand but he soon realized or tried to realize that she was just a distraction. He turned his cheek and took a step back. "Not even you." He placed the helmet over his head and walked towards the door, leaving without a second more.

Elara was left to pray he wouldn't touch her parents or her children, and wonder why her emotions were so conflicted.