Darkness At Dawn • Kylo Ren [1]

XLVIII

"Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect."

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In her life Elara had given more of herself than perhaps was wise. She had loved without boundaries and did whatever she wanted without borders. But now, there was no dignity left. So in front of her daughter and her precious Ben Solo, she let her face show. From the deeply etched lines of laughter and love, to the tears slowly falling down her frost bitten cheeks.

The fear was shackles, a knife in the gut slowly being twisted, a constant hammer to the head. Yet, fear also evaporates like water under a sun. When fear comes, she told herself to walk past the nipping emotion with confidence because like the ghost of her children's dreams, fear was an illusion. At least, she told herself this because she didn't want Bellamy to think she was going to die. Elara had to be fearless so Bellamy could be hopeful.

Fate was as cruel as death, which was something Elara knew first hand. They were the demons in her life, the ones that held onto her neck tightly and squeezed the air out of her. Yet, she figured that at least fate would get tired of suffocating, that it's clutches would numb. Love was like that; when it got in it's strongest, it always weakened and eventually let go. Even so, love was powerful, but fate was unstoppable.

In the quaking scenery behind her, she had realized she was running out of time. "Bellamy, look at me." Elara's voice cracked.

Bellamy's head lifted up and her eyes locked with Elara's. "Momma I'm scared."

"Fear is a part of being human Bellamy, it's the precursor to bravery." She whispered. "We need it, it wakes us up and allows us to do what needs to be done. So feel it, own it, let it ignite your thoughts."

Bellamy shook from the bitter weather. "I don't want to die."

"You won't die." Kylo breathed breathlessly, numb with agonizing pain. "Don't say that!"

Elara felt more tears stream down her cheeks. "No, no of course not."

Rey and Jude stood helplessly from the other side, watching the scene unfold as the planet fell behind them. Unable to do anything but hope, Jude held onto Rey like his life depended on it.

The fear travelled in Kylo's veins but never made it to his facial muscles or skin. His complexion remained pale and sickened, his eyes as steady as if he were meditating. "I've got you, I won't let go."

Elara looked up at Kylo, their eyes meeting for what seemed like the first time in centuries. "Your father has you Bell, he wouldn't lie ."

"Elara-"

"The light, it's calling for you, can't you hear it?" She tried to pull herself up one last time, her muscles ripped and torn. "You belong to the beauty that comes from it."

"I can't hold on any longer." Kylo cried out, his stone-cold face beginning to break. "Bellamy's slipping from my hand!" Panicked, Kylo feared that he would have to pick between his daughter and Elara.

All too quickly, Elara used what little strength she had to place her purple lightsaber in the belt loop of Bellamy's dress.

"It's okay." Elara muttered. "I know what comes next." She looked over at Jude, taking in his young face, though tears stained his freckled cheeks. Elara then looked at Bellamy, adoring her beauty and strength. Also, she saw the face of her long lost sister, though she doesn't come into play for this story. Kalila Jane's face appeared in Elara's mind and a sudden glint of hope sparked in her heart. Her smile became meek and she laid her weakening eyes upon the very beast she found beauty in.

"One day, we'll meet again my love." Elara kissed his hand, her face radiating bravery and adoration. "I do believe this."

Suddenly, everything was black. Elara found herself falling in the darkness, hurtling to an invisible floor. A floor that would most likely kill her if she continued to fall at that speed. The air pushed against her face, she closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable. The world rushed by in a blur and the impact was quick. Torn and dirty, but finally at peace.

Elara Jane was gone.

Gone.

Kylo's eyes widened and his mouth fell to the ground, too shocked to even call out her beautiful name. He pulled Bellamy over the edge and held onto her, rocking her as she cried. Soon enough, his tears came.

As he cried there was a rawness to it, like the pain was an open wound. Kylo clasped onto Bellamy for support and his whole body began to shake. The sobs were stifled at first as he attempted to hide his grief, then overcome by the wave of his emotions he would broken down entirely, all his defences washed away.

Crying and screaming. It didn't even sound like Bellamy paused long enough to breathe. Surely she'd have to either stop or pass out soon but her screaming went on. "Mommy!"

Jude began to wail frantically, not even noticing that Chewbacca had come to the rescue. Jude's arms where in the air, thrashing around like an old football. He started yelling, calling out for his mother and for Bellamy but soon he was inside the Falcon, silenced from the outsiders still on the ground.

Kylo (who was still wounded) held onto Bellamy, awaiting death as the planet blew up. His tears froze to his cheeks and his eyes began to slowly shut as the agony became too unbearable. Bellamy desperately looked for a way to escape but she could only see her mother's face falling to her death. When all hope seemed lost, a group of stormtroopers came to their aid and everything after that became one large blur.

Love never dies a natural death. It dies of love and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of lust, of sacrificing, of tarnishings! It is said that all your memories flash before your eyes just before you die.

That is true, it's called life.