Darkness At Dawn • Kylo Ren [1]

XLI

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

∫

Kylo had never felt so many emotions in his entire life. Emotional pain leaves invisible scars, yet they can be traced by the most gentle of touch. Sometimes, like a cyst, the "wound" must be opened to be healed; other times a well meaning person may seek to heal what should be left alone. If it can be ignored and a normal life resumed, why couldn't he stop the deepening pain he felt?

Of course Elara was there to bring him back. She had been given a title by the people, guardian of the innocent, she wouldn't give that up so easily. If only Kylo had been able to foretell this would happen, he would of done things differently.

Or would he?

Somehow, he knew that Elara wasn't fully seduced by the dark side. He knew that Elara loved him deeply and would do almost anything for him but he also knew that she desperately wanted her family back together...on the light side. What he said was true, he wanted to marry her. In fact, he had dreamt about marrying her ever since they sat on the rooftop before he had to leave with his uncle to Cloud City all those years ago.

Stop this immediately.

His heart jolted and he forgot that Snoke was listening to his thoughts. He shook his head and apologized, ashamed. He wasn't quite sure what he was ashamed about. The fact that he wanted to go back to the light side or the fact he was caught.

You are so close to finishing your training.

A hazy breath escaped his lips. He was so close to becoming everything he had given up so much for. Every bit of him ached for one thing and that was so follow in his grandfather's footsteps. But, a tiny voice was shouting in his head, pleading he go back to everything he gave up.

He entered the girl's prison cell, only to find it unguarded and empty. That was the last of it, he couldn't take it anymore. He ignited his lightsaber and well, you know what happens next.

∫

Suffering. That's how Elara always described it. Although she believed it to be much more than just "suffering". It was a plethora of shattered bones, burning flesh, and cracked skulls. In other words, it was awful and painful. Heavy, the air seemed to be as she waited for an agonizingly long few hours. All she felt was the constant wants and needs to shed a tear but feeling nausea by even just thinking about such a thought.

All she wanted to be, was happy.

She tried her best to think of a memory, whether it be Bellamy chasing a butterfly or Jude falling asleep outside on a warm Nabooian day. Anywhere seemed better than being locked away in Kylo's cold room. It was embarrassing to admit that she was still there because she had hope he would come back to her, somehow.

Doubt suddenly shot through her like a piercing arrow destroying the resistance. Doubt at her existence, doubt at her journey and doubting if it was worth it. Worry grew like a corrupted, dying and perfidy tree. It's branches twisted and broken off but, seeds of hope wormed into the ground and no matter how large and terrifying the darkness was, it endured like a small pebble to last infinitely. With all this strong doubt. What is hope?

"Elara?" His metallic voice interrupted her thoughts. "The prisoner has escaped."

"The prisoner has a name."

"I have to find her before she discovers her full ability." He sounded apologetic but it was hard to tell since he wore that conceiving mask.

"How far can she possibly go?" Elara slammed the door shut with the force. "You promised!"

He took off his mask, throwing it to the side and walked up to her quickly and swiftly, placing both hands on the side of her face. With one touch, she was weak in the knees and mentally cursed herself for it. "Why must things be so difficult?"

"They don't have to be." She sighed. "How many times do I have to ask you to come home?"

His eyes went dark and he turned away slightly. "This is my home."

"Don't lie to yourself!"

He looked back at her but this time, his eyes were pleading for an escape. "What do you want from me? I have taken everything away from you! Your friends have died because of me! What do you want?"

"I want you." She stated simply but it was as if the entire galaxy had become ten times brighter. "I want us to be together."

"On which side though?" He shook his head, placing his forehead against hers. "I have broken you."

"You made me stronger." Elara defended.

"I left you."

"And I found you." Elara continued. "I know you feel it."

Kylo blinked, dreading a tear would escape from his brimmed eyeline. "Snoke also knows."

Elara's stomach dropped. "H-how?"

Kylo shrugged, keeping himself extremely close to her. "He sees my mind like I see yours. He sees the fear, the pain, the light and the dark." He bit his lip, thinking for a moment. "He knows that I want to kiss you."

"Do it."

And he did, he kissed her like there would be no tomorrow, like all hell had broken free, like the sun does the moon when it is sunrise, he kissed her like he was his last resort of oxygen and she kissed him back with equal amount of passion.

His hand crawled to her back and messily removed her shirt, throwing it to the metal ground. His gloved hands soon became free and his fingertips traced circles on her skin as they made their way up to her collarbone. Elara wrapped her arms around his neck, wishing his heavy cloak wasn't in the way. She intertwined her hands into his raven hair and tugged ever so slightly.

His lips suddenly stopped moving and his hands dropped to his sides. His breathing picked up and he stepped away from Elata, looking mortified.

Elara gasped. "What's wrong?"

Frantically, he searched for some kind of lie in his vision but there were none. "Han Solo."

You know what you need to do.