FADING DARKNESS

CHAPTER 16:DARKNESS.... AGAIN?

Haseena smiled as her daughter entered her room, carrying her little brother in her arms.
"Mommy, he fell asleep at last" she whispered, handing little Abhay to Haseena, her eyes wide with adoration for her brother. Haseena took him in her arms, and the baby boy yawned, snuggling closer to his mother.
"U can go and study now, Alisha" Haseena said gently. "I'm sure ur father will be waiting with the multiplication tables."
Alisha pouted. "But I wanted to plan for my little brother's birthday. He's turning three!"
Haseena smiled gently. "Alisha" she said patiently. "His birthday is still a week away, darling. We can plan afterwards, right?"
Alisha pouted a little more and sighed. "I guess u're right Mommy" she whispered. he rushed to Abhay, and planted a wet kiss on her brother's cheeks. "Okay, baby boy, u sleep with Mommy now, I'll come later."
With a goodbye kiss on her mother's cheeks and a sweet smile, she rushed away.
Tears fell from Haseena's eyes as she recalled those days. Her hands trembled slightly as she brought out the photo of the four of them and looked at it yet again. It had been taken on the day of Abhay's third birthday, the last birthday she had celebrated with her son. It had been just a week later that all those happy moments had ended forever.
She wiped her tears and kept the photo back. Maybe Abhay hadn't read the diary yet..Or maybe.. maybe..he had read the diary and like his father, had judged that she was the culprit, the one responsible for tearing their family apart'.
Fresh tears leaked out and she wiped them away again. This would not do. She could not be weak. There were little children who looked up to her, how would she protect them if she herself broke down.
There was lots to be done. It was Asha's birthday tomorrow. She needed to arrange a small party for her. Ignoring the slight pain in her chest, she reached for her phone and dialed Piya's number.
********************
Piya kept her cell phone back on the table, a smile on her face.
"Who was it?" Misha asked, entering with two steaming mugs of coffee. She handed one over to Piya and settled herself beside Piya on the sofa.
"Haseena aunty" said Piya, the smile still on her face as she took a sip of her coffee. "It's Asha's birthday tomorrow, so she wants to arrange a small party there with the kids and she wants us there." She looked at Misha. "Can u come?"
Misha looked thoughtful as she took a sip from her own mug. "I guess..when do u plan to go?"
"The cake cutting and all will be in the evening" said Piya, looking excited. "And I said I'll help with the cooking. So I'll go straight from school, I guess."
Misha smiled. "I'll be there by evening then. She said. "Hey" she said suddenly, putting down her coffee mug on the table and catching hold of one of Piya's hands. "I almost forgot, Piya. Congrats on the new job yaar, I'm so so so happy. U'll be starting tomorrow? How're u feeling excited? Nervous?"
Piya grinned. "Slow down Mish" she said . "A bit of both I guess." She admitted. "I've never taught before, U know. And it's a primary school, I heard handling kids are more difficult'"
"Piya, r u kidding me?" said Misha incredulously. "Kids and u gel just fine! And my instincts are telling me'u're gonna be an awesome teacher, Piyu, mark my words."
Piya laughed. "Okay, Mish, I get it." She frowned. "Although I wonder why they chose me. U know after rejecting me at first and all that. I've got no experience, they're right about that..Then'"
"God Piya, yaar, don't think so much" said Misha, shaking her head exasperatedly. "Aren't u glad? Just be happy u're actually starting a job u wanted!"
Piya laughed. "Okay Okay, I won't think so much. That's what Haseena aunty told me too, u know. Just be grateful for what u have." Her grin mellowed down as she remembered something. "Mish, I've been meaning to ask u something for a long time. " At Misha's encouraging nod, she continued. "The first day here, u told me that she's a patient of one of ur colleagues? What--? I didn't get u'"
Misha's face fell a little as she squeezed Piya's hand a little. "Yes, Piya, she's Aditi's patient. She has ASD. In simpler terms, she's got a hole in her heart, u know."
"Oh" Piya looked shocked. "Is it'is i-u know'fatal?"
Misha shrugged. "I haven't asked Aditi, Piya" she said apologetically. "Usually, it's against our code to disclose news regarding our patients to anyone outside the patient or close family. I'm neither" she said with a small smile. "Most ASDs close at birth of course, very rarely do they need surgery, though of course, there may be complications. But don't think too much" she added quickly, as she took in Piya's worried face. "I'm sure she's OK."
"Did u ask her?" Piya asked worriedly, biting her lips. "Haseena aunty?"
Misha nodded. "I did Piya. But she always gives the same answer . She's allright, nothing to be worried about. That's all she says."
Piya still looked worried. "I didn't know. I'll ask her tomorrow, Mish. Knowing Haseena aunty, she hides her own sorrows so well."
***************
THE NEXT DAY:
Arnab watched as his son drove away in his car, feeling shaken. After Piya had left, he had not had the courage to look for her, where she had gone. When Arjun had come up to him, stating that he was going to bring his sister back home here, where she belonged, Arnab had hugged him, unable to keep his tears at bay, his tears of shame and lack of courage.
Arjun had understood it all.
"I know Dad and I understand" he had said, pulling away. "Piya will come back and it will all be okay."
"I've failed her, son. I don't know if I deserve her. She won't forgive me."
Arjun had looked at his father comfortingly. "We are human, Dad, and we make mistakes. She doesn't deserve this, of course she doesn't. And that is why I'm going to bring her back. Yes, I know where she is Dad" he added.
****************
Madhu sat on her bed, her eyes looking at the floor, but not really seeing.
A little while earlier, Arjun had come in and said. "I'm going to get Piya back. And don't u dare oppose me, Mom."
He had left without waiting for an answer.
Madhu sighed. A tear trickled down her eyes and she wiped it impatiently away. She didn't want to think anymore. It made things so difficult. Should she be angry that Piya was coming back? Or should she not?
Perhaps, she had treated Piya more harshly than she'd intended; Piya was as much a victim as she was. She sighed. The mother in her wanted to forgive, but the wife in her wasn't so ready. What would she do?
She sighed again.What was the right thing in this? Who was right, the mother or the wife?
**********************
Arjun drove the car as fast as he could through the narrow streets. The sooner he reached Shimla the better. He had delayed too late. They were all too late. He had failed his duties as a brother. He had succumbed to his own darkness instead of being there for his sister when she needed him most. He had proved himself weak, still a victim of the past.
Maybe Abhay had been right, a sly voice whispered. "Maybe u don't deserve to be a brother either.
Arjun slammed his foot on the accelerator, trying to get rid of the thoughts. His headache was still not gone completely. The past few days, he had drunk too much.
He swerved his car, narrowly missing hitting a bicycle. His thoughts went back to the event earlier that day that had made him realize that he needed to go and find Piya.
Arjun opened the door to his balcony, and sunlight flooded his rom. He stepped outside. The balcony was filled with dust, having been shut out for days.
As he stood there, he watched a boy and a girl walking past their house on the road below. The girl was no older than five or six and was returning from school. The boy was around twelve.
Suddenly the girl stumbled on a stone and fell, crying out"Bhaiya.."
The boy was by her in seconds. He knelt down gently, observing the wound. Then he looked up and saw his sister's crying face. He gently wipe the tears away. "I'll carry u home" he said gently. "And at home, I'll wash the wound, and if u stop crying now, I'll buy u a big bar of chocolate."
"Promise?" the sister asked tearfully.
The boy nodded. "Pakka promise. Have I veer broken my promise?" The girl shook her head.
Arjun had stood there long after they were gone, thoughts running through his head. He had once promised Piya to never let go of her hand when she had been afraid to ride the merry-go-round.
"I'll always hold u tight and safe, sis. Promise" he had said.
And that was when he realized, he was breaking his promise. He couldn't let go of Piya's hand. He needed to bring her back, bring his younger sister back where he could protect her, keep her safe. And he had rushed out at once.
Arjun drove on, hoping that Piya would forgive him. So engrossed was he in his thoughts that he did not notice the jeep speeding towards him until it was too late.
************
It was evening, the sun had already set. Piya sat with Haseena, both of them smiling as they watched the children playing together. Piya had played musical chair with them a little while ago and she was now resting, content with watching the kids chasing each other, while the older children made sure that they did not hurt themselves or each other in the process.
"They really are a joyous lot Haseena aunty" said Piya, watching them.
"Yes they are, aren't they?" said Haseena fondly. "One never knows when time passes when u r with them."
Piya looked up at Haseena. "U do know, aunty, that these children are able to be so happy today because of u, don't u?"
Haseena merely smiled. "Quite the other way Piya. These children are the reason I'm so happy now."
Piya's eyes didn't move from her face. "I heard from Misha that u r sick? U are taking care of yourself aren't u? These little ones need u to be their strength'"
Something flickered in Haseena's eyes before she spoke. "Of course, darling, it's nothing. And it's not that they don't have anybody. They have each other. They have you."
Piya ignored her statement. "How sick r u really aunty? Now I seem to notice, U seem out of breath, tiring out quickly."
Haseena smiled. "My body is only human Piya and a human body is bound to have ailments."
"Hole in the heart?" Piya asked her quietly.
Haseena sighed, her smile slipping slightly. For a long moment she did not answer, gazing out instead at the happy sight in front of her. Then, just when Piya thought she wasn't going t reply she said softly. "I've had all that I wished for in my life and more. Parents, a sister, husband, my own children, a second chance to build my life, around these kids'" Piya held her breath. Haseena had never spoken about her family, at least not in front of her. "In a few months, Nishant here will be completing school. He's won a scholarship to go study in college. Alina here is gifted in music, I've seen to it that she goes to amusic school, she's sure to do something big in life. All these children are so hard-working, sincere, good at heart. They have received less in life than other children their age, but they will give back so much more to life. And I have a hand in their growing up, I couldn't be happier. Tell me Piya, in the face of all this happiness, how is it possible to think about a small hole in my heart, my dear?"
"Where is ur family,aunty? Ur husband? Ur children?" Piya asked her. All this while she had seen Haseena as someone who cared for these orphan kids, gave them a home, a mother's care, but she suddenly struck Piya as an individual, an individual with her own past, her own story, her own life.
Haseena sighed and smiled slightly. "Ah, Piya, don't go that way." She said softly. It shook Piya to the core to hear the loneliness in her voice, the underlying tone of gut-wrenching sorrow. "Look around u, there is so much joy around. Why go into the past? It cannot be undone. Enjoy the present."
Piya reached out and clutched Haseena's hand in a tight grip, suddenly wanting to comfort her. "Haseena aunty, u do know, u can tell me anything, if u want to, right?"
Haseena reached out, planting a soft kiss on Piya's forehead. Piya leaned sideways, placing her head on Haseena's shoulders. "Of course, I do, Piya" Haseena said smiling.
"Please take care of urself aunty" Piya begged. "Please."
Haseena closed her eyes briefly to prevent the tears that were threatening to spill forth. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to smile. "Of course Piya, I will. Thank u for caring so much my dear. U really are a lovely girl. I am really glad I met u."
She coughed suddenly, clutching her chest, drawing in a painful breath. She coughed again. Piya at once lifted her head, looking at her alarmed. The others were still busy in the party. None had noticed.
"Haseena aunty!" exclaimed Piya, worried. "Are u all right? What's the matter. Are u hurting?"
Haseena shook her head, managing to speak between gasps. "No'I'my medicine'I forgot to take'"
"I'll get it for U, aunty! Tell me where it is!" Piya whispered, holding her hands tightly. "Don't worry aunty!"
"Drawer in my room'there's a red envelope'the medicines are there'"
"I'll get it" said Piya at once, jumping up.
She rushed inside, going to Haseena aunty's room. She reached her drawer and opened it quickly. She saw the red envelope and pulled it out quickly.In her hurry, a few newspaper cuttings fell out. As she hurriedly started to put them back in their place, her eyes fell on the cuttings and her mouth fell open. Abhay Raichand's picture stared back at her with those cold eyes, that proud nose, the strong jaw. Her heart hammered painfully. Abhay's picture here? With Haseena aunty? Again? Why did Abhay never seem to leave her alone? His thoughts, his feel, his photos'everything seemed to be all around her.
Maybe it was just a co-incidence, Abhay's picture being here. Maybe Haseena aunty just kept these cuttings for some other reason, she told herself.
U can ask her, Piya's foolish heart told her. She silenced that voice, stuffing the cuttings back rather forcefully in to the drawer and slamming it shut. She needed to give these medicines to Haseena aunty. Maybe, if she could, she'd ask about those cuttings later.
She grabbed a water bottle lying on the bedside table and rushed out, reaching Haseena aunty, who was there in the same position Piya had left her in, clutching her chest now. Piya could tell that she was trying to act as though nothing had happened to her. Piya knelt down beside her and handed her the medicines. She watched anxiously as Haseena gulped down the medicines, and relief seeped in to her as Haseena slowly returned to normal.
"Thank u child" she murmured in a low voice, coughing as she straightened up.
"U've not been taking care of herself" said Piya sternly, helping her to sit more comfortably. "Haseena aunty, how could u forget to take ur medicines? U gave me such a scare there!"
Haseena chuckled softly at Piya's scolding. Just then Asha came running towards them. "Come Piya Didi, Come Mummy" she called pulling at their hands. "Cake-cutting time!"
Piya smiled at Asha, pinching her cheeks affectionately, before helping Haseena stand up. Haseena smiled and hugged Asha and planted a kiss on the top of her head.
"Let's go darling" she said.
Asha held their hands, walking in the middle and carried them over to where the other children stood, waiting for them around the chocolate cake.
Amidst cheers and songs of "Happy Birthday" Piya helped Asha cut the cake with the knife.
Haseena stood smiling at the scene in front of her, a warm feeling coursing through her. Piya was such a good girl, so easy to love. She swept people so easily in to her light. How lucky the woman was who had given birth to an angel like Piya, she thought! She smiled. She would be content if she could be Piya's mother-in-law at least. Don't be silly Haseena, she told herself, realizing that her thoughts were headed in the impossible direction. She took a deep breath, glad that Piya had at least touched her and the children's life.
Asha had come up to her now and Haseena bent down slightly, taking a small bite off the cake Asha gave her. She then fed Asha a piece of cake. The children were running and laughing trying to smear each other's face with chocolate cake.
Just then Misha entered, looking rather pale.
"Mish!" said Piya, noticing her. She hurried towards her and started pulling her towards the cake. "C'mon u're just in time for the cake!" she said grinning.
But Misha didn't seem to hear her. She clutched at Piyas hand, stopping her.
"Mish, what's the matter?" Piya asked noticing how pale Misha looked.
Misha looked at her, quite unlike her cheerful self.
"Piya'I-I am sorry'but there's something'u'u need to know. Kabir called from the Dehraddon Hospital just now. Ur b-brother is there. He's'he's met with an accident."