I woke up this morning with a fresh outlook on life. I spoke to the man downstairs who I had been ignoring the past 2 days. "Good morning." A fan said to me. I've been avoiding them too. Questions would be asked- questions I did not want to answer. "Good morning." She smiled at me like Lily had. You never told them "my love" is lily you dingus. My bad, lily is "my love" that reminds me I have to change that. "How are you doing today?" She asked, a large group of boys and girls around her age gathering around us.
This should make me happy, I know. But I couldn't smile. This feels so out of body. Meeting all these happy people. By the end of the little meet and greet I was mad. They all had smiles on their faces. And I didn't. They were all happy or at least appeared to be- but I was sad. I'm fucking sad. I unlocked my phone with my thumbprint and went to contacts. Why is she still in your favorites? I clicked on her contact but my thumbs didn't move. Too soon. I clicked out of contacts and locked my phone. No! Not too soon. I shook my head at my inner thoughts that my brain was producing.
I'm going to the studio again. I'm working on my album called- well I don't know what it's called anymore but so far I have one song. It's old but I never released it. It's called life is worth living but I don't know if that's so true anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or anything but I am sad. Time heels everything. In time I'll be okay. Are you deaf or is your blaring phone not even to penetrate your deep ass thoughts. I quickly pulled my phone out of my pocket and answered my phone.
"What's up?" I didn't have time to look at the caller id so for all I know I could be talking to Rihanna, or Drake, hell it could be Obama. Or lily. Or lily.
"-We had planed this lunch 2 weeks ago. I still want to go. You up for it?" I didn't hear the beginning of the sentence because I'm heart was caught up on the fact that for the first fine in 3 days I heard Lily's voice!
I wanted to smile but hearing her voice reminded me that we weren't together anymore. "Of course. In and out, 20 minutes?" She mumbled an okay before hanging up. So you're doing this whole 21 days shit and you're going to lunch with her? Isn't that like a big no no? It might be, but i would be happy to have lunch with a sewer rat right now.
You're making a mistake. You're not going to be able to get over her if you keep in contact with her. I'm telling you. I thought about that for a second, would that help?
Nah.
- they say it takes 21 days to break a habit
