"Justin." I turned around and it felt like my whole world came back together for a second. For one split second I had forgotten all the pain, all the tears. Just for a second though. "Lily." I still couldn't bring myself to smile. On the inside I was smiling. Just smile. I can't. "You can't what?" Lily asked with concern laced through her voice. Her hands still held onto my arms, my hands still placed on her waist. "Nothing." We sat down opposite of each other in the booth and she looked at the menu.
It's habit I swear, I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture. I didn't realize until a found my lips about to ask lily what the caption should be for Instagram. Just post it. I thought about what Lily might think. What if she's talking to someone. You guys just broke up. She's not talking to anyone. Post it. I added the caption "lunch" and posted the picture with Lily looking at the menu very intensely as if her life depended on what she was going to order.
"You know this is going to be the first I've actually eaten." I confessed. You're the one who broke up with her, you're not supposed to be sad. "I tell you everyday to eat Justin." She smiled and shock her head, still looking at the menu. "It's harder than it sounds. You know when you're nervous and you can't eat? That's how I feel 24/7 now. With all these people questioning me about bs and-" not having you with me everyday. "It's stressful."
"I'll sit here and make sure you eat every bit of your food. If you need me to cook you food sometimes I will." I almost smiled at the thought. Just ask her to be your girlfriend again. It's not the best time. When is the best time? When you mentally break down because you miss her so much? No, I'm not going to mentally break down. You're starting to, and it's only been 3 days. Whatever. See you now I'm right! You are me. That means I'm right too. I'm you but smarter. I see you staring at her hand. Go ahead. Grab it.
I shock my head to stop myself from having a conversation with myself. "How have you been?" I asked, grabbing my own hand so I wouldn't be tempted to grab Lily's. "As good as I can be." She smiled. "I'm holding up, you?" Glasses of water were placed in front of us. Lily was here before I was, and we always order water because we hate playing $3 for drinks we don't even finish. "I'll be honest-" don't say you've been crying Justin I swear to god. "I've cried to much." You're a dumbass. You're so stupid. "So have I. You can see the bags under my eyes no matter how much concealer I put on." She chuckled. "I hate that I did this to both of us but you know I have to tour and scooter-"
"Yeah i know. Scott controls your life. I get it." I sighed and released my hands from my own grasp. "Scott does not control my life." Is all I said. I had a tiny bit on anger in my voice, but who wouldn't have? "Then why do you suddenly break up with me when you're going on tour? When I was on tour we stayed together. Are you scared you'll cheat on me or something? Is that why?" I could see Lily's eyes through my cloudy ones. Hers were clouded too.
"Lily, you're everything to me. You know that, but it's hard to balance tour life and a girlfriend. I'm sorry that you think Scott is controlling me, but he's not. It was my choice." She nodded and looked away quickly. "This hurts me more th-"
"Bullshit. If it hurt you more you never would've made the choice and don't give me that 'if it's meant to be, we'll be together' that's a load of shit." People were starting to stare at us and not because it's Lily and Justin Bieber, but because Lily was getting progressively louder. "Stop yelling lily people are looking. She glanced around, locking eyes with people who were searching for hers.
"What, they control your life now too? Justin-" Lily sighed and put her hand on her forehead. "You're an asshole." Before I could say anything she stood up and left.
- they say it takes 21 days to break a habit
