I scrolled through my Instagram feed. Picture of memes and dogs that would normally make me smile left my face in a frown. Did you not see that video of the dog chasing his tail? Did you not think that was funny? I sighed.
After 15 minutes or so of scrolling I saw that Lily had posted a picture. Here we go. My heart swelled. I double tapped it immediately. It was a selfie of her and her sister. They were in Mexico and the caption said "living our best lives" See, she's moved on. That can't be true? She isn't living her best life. Is she? Is it me that held her back from happiness? Can't be. My throat was dry, took a sip of water but that didn't help. Fuck it, just call her. My fingers tapped on the phone icon. She was the first contact in the list. I pressed her contact and it rang for 25 seconds before I was sent to voice mail. Well leave a voicemail dumbass!
"Lily, I just saw your post. You look amazing! Your sister looks good as well. I didn't mean it like that- you know what I mean. I called to ask how you were doing, but I'm guessing for the caption of that post you're doing fine. I still miss you."
I hung up and instantly regretted even calling. She clearly isn't worrying about me, so why am i so stuck on her? I broke up with her. I've been saying that this whole time. I turned on the tv and clicked through channels. Catfish was on. I love catfish. No no no. So did Lily. Fuck. She's the one that got me into the show. It's crazy how people can be talking to someone for years and then suddenly it's like they don't even know them anymore. Don't try to relate that to you. I wasn't going to. Yes you were. Ok maybe I was, but it does slightly relate to me.
This episode was one of my favorites. One of Lily's favorites. It was the episode where this girl was catfishing her cousin because he apparently called her a fatass Kelly Price.
Finally, a complete thought without mentioning Lily.
Lily. She texted.
From:
My Love
My sister says thank you.
That's it? That's all I get? What did you want? Maybe a little more than that! "My sister says thank you." I repeated out loud. I scoffed at her text and locked my phone. I threw it across the room and it hit the wall. I wasn't worried, it had a case on it. Fuck her. Yeah! Fuck her, and her sister!
You don't mean it. I don't.
- they say it takes 21 days to break a habit
