Force from the Other Side

Chapter Fourteen

*

A week later...

Amethyst felt arms wrap around her. Ben. "How's my wife?"

It was late. He had been helping his mother and had just gotten back to her. Amethyst turned around and put her arms around him as well, cuddling her head into his chest.

"Tired." She said, smiling, breathing in his scent. He smelled like pine and lilac. Must have accidentally used her soap to get the lilac.

"Perhaps you should go to bed." He suggested

"Perhaps you should go to bed with me?" Amethyst suggested.

"That sounds like a perfect idea. I'll just go check on the twins."

"They just fell asleep." Amethyst explained.

"Still. You never know" he said letting go of Amethyst. When he came back she was asleep. Laughing to himself, he pulled her into his arms and fell asleep as well.

*

Rey sat on a stone at the resistance base, trying to concentrate. She was finding it hard to keep calm and focused. The jedi code didn't work. So what did work? Nothing worked. Gone was that crutch she had held on to.

"Rey. What are you doing?" Luke's voice asked.

"I am trying to be in tune with the force, to feel calm. It's not working."

"That's because sometimes reasons for our lack of calmness, isn't eradicated by the force."

Rey sighed. "Then what do I do? I don't want to become Sith again. I can't. I can't go back."

"Rey being angry or scared won't make you become sith again. We already established you weren't completely sith. You weren't jedi either but you weren't one of them. You've a new home now. You have support. Not just from the force but your family. I'm here."

Rey wiped falling tears. "I hated every day since I was old enough to remember. I wanted my parents so badly. I forgot that when I decided that I'd never find them. I tried to be strong and I tried to take control. Snoke wanted manipulators.... Ironically that's what he got. The greatest manipulator of them all. I manipulated him. It was difficult. I kept him out. But when Ben showed up.... I.... he got inside my head. Snoke I mean. I got so angry and confused. He was telling me what to do and I gave into the fear. I didn't realise what I'd done until... until after I'd done it."

"I slaughtered thousands of innocents on Mindor."

"What?" Rey asked.

"I was both in control and not in control of my actions. It's complicated. But I still did it and I still live with it. I know how you feel. Your mother knows how you feel. Force sensitive people, the jedi, the sith... we struggle. The reason we try to have balance sometimes is because when our emotions get strong, it manipulates the force we have within us. We can't control ourselves completely. We control the force mostly but sometimes it controls us. That's why we have to be careful. Just trying to forget you don't have them won't help. That was the problem with the old jedi code. No love, no fear, no family... It's wrong. A person needs those things to be strong. You can be scared Rey. You can be loved. You can have a family. And you are a forgiven. Always and completely forgiven. You've waited a long time for your family. Don't throw them away. Let us help you. You don't have to be strong all the time. You don't have to face punishment all the time."

"Teach me to be a jedi like you."

"I would but I can't." Luke said.

"Why not?"

"With Ben I could teach because I hadn't lost him. I could see myself as his teacher and his uncle and perhaps another father figure but with you... I can't. I can't be your teacher. I have to be your father Rey. I'll teach you things now and then but as a father would a daughter. You won't be my pupil."

"But I don't know who else I can ask. Mum?"

"She won't either. Go and rest. You're in pain Rey. I can sense it."

Rey went to walk away but stopped to hug her dad. "I'm sorry the jedi academy got burned down."

"WE can find somewhere new. Everyone is safe and that's the main thing."

Rey nodded.

*
Amethyst staggered into the medical centre, still tired. A few people were working. Suddenly a booming voice could be heard and she felt hands on her arms. "Good to see you back at work." Alistair's voice said.

"Alistair... shut up." Amethyst replied.

"I was saying hello."

"Right." Amethyst replied. "What do you need me to do?"

"I need to check up on that sith girl's wound. She's difficult to talk to. But as a doctor I'm worried it could become infected."

"Seriously. You know what I liked about moving away with my husband to have my twins? I didn't have to work with you! Why are you always so happy and eager all the time?"

"I love my job."

"Except when you're a glorified messenger."

"For Mara Jade and Leia Organa. Don't know any better women to answer to except perhaps..."

"I'm not going to do your job for you because you're a scaredy doc."

He ground his teeth. "Fine, there are patients that need tending to. I'll be back" he frowned, he couldn't get out of this job.