One last time. One last fight

time to fess up

It was the afternoon well at least as far as the clocks were concerned they all said it was quarter past 1 in the afternoon, and Dean was sat on the couch in his boxer shorts and Cas was in the kitchen making some coffee in similar attire. The boys were not really talking, they both understood that they were hiding something from each other.

Cas was the first to break. "Dean? I uh think we need to talk... about last night. I knew you were crying Dean and i dont know why you wont tell me what happened. and i found your phone on the floor you had Sams contact up... did you ring him?" Cas' face remained calm but Dean saw the fear in his eyes. Dean immediately thought the worst that phone call must have been Haniel telling him that the 'other' option was a no go and Cas only had a limited time left before the angels came and got him. Dean sighed, not knowing what to say. "Look im not the one hiding things, i had a nightmare and i came out to get some whisky, i wanted to talk to my brother. i know its only been a week but i miss him Cas. No he didnt ring nor did i ring him. so what if i cried, i cant bear to loose you , not ever, I did that once and almost lost my mind, i cannot live without you Cas i have no reason to live without you..." It all came out, Dean had nothing else to say, Cas was the only one who had to say anything now. But the angel wassnt saying a word he was just sat the solid as stone. "Cas?" Dean edged towards him, "CAS, FOR FUCKS SAKE ANSWER ME! i just bared my soul to you and just like old times you want to run away.. well guess what. you cant now were trapped here. This is all real Cas. I need you to understand otherwise things will end badly for us both." That was enogh to push Cas over the edge. " Dean i know more than you will ever know how real this is the reason i used to run away was because of this very reason. I never wanted you to become dependant on me Dean i didnt realise just how much i ment to you and that scares me I'm so sorry Dean."

Dean knew Cas was afraid but he needed to know what Haniel had told Cas that made him break down the way he did. "Cas i love you and i always will love you forever and always but i need to know what Haniel told you... please, the way you touched me was like.. well id never touched you before, you were a compleatly different man, I have never seen you act like that before, it scared me Cas." Dean's voice broke, and Castiel's eyes shot up from the ground to look Dean in the face. "You really need to know dont you...even though i never asked when you came to bed that night in tears and sang me to sleep." Dean was hurt, "Yes Cas i do need to know! i'll tell you if you want to know but only if you tell me about the fucking phone call." they both sighed. " well the thing is..." Started Cas. "Hanel old me some facts about how desperate Heaven is to see me suffer.. i have never known my brothers to be so vengeful." He paused and Dean jumped in. "Cas.. really? after all these months of them chasing you and you hiding, you still thnk of them so highly, the are the most vengeful and spiteful fucking bastards i've ever come across, i would rather have a fucking tea party with crowley than see any of those angels again." At the mention of Crowley Cas sucked in a breath remembering Dean's Face as he realised Cas was working with him pained him. " Thats beside the point Dean, what got to me was that Haniel had an alternative option...." Neither man said anything, Cas' breaths were ragged, he was sobbing again and Dean immediately moved over to him putting his arms around him soothing him untill he could breath properly again. " Look baby, i know exactly what he said to you-" Cas tried to interrupt but Dean continued. "The night i sang you to sleep was the night Haniel took me to one side and proposed that he take your grace and offer it to your brothers instead of them taking it directly from you. Now i understand why it broke you, it broke me too. we both know the risks of having your grace removed." It was Dean's turn to cry now and Cas still raw from his earlier bout of tears stared up again. The men were holding each other in their arms shaking and sobbing. It was the only noise in the house and it continued on untill, exhausted, they fell asleep in the same position on the middle of the sofa, eventually sliding down into a more comfortable position.

whatever they were going to do with Cas' grace could wait untill tomorrow.