Why Me?

My parents...

They aren't perfect...But hey i mean whos parents are. So im gonna go way back like 15 years back to when i was born, my mom knew that her and my dad werent gonna last but she made a sacrifice for me and married my dad for me.. she told me that she never wanted me to question why they were never together.My parents didnt even last 1 year married, they divorced when i was 6 months old.. my soon to be stepdad who was working for my mom at the time came into my life 4 months later when i was 10 months old. Eventually they did get married and he became my stepdad officially, when i was 3 years old my dad had married a girl he met from work who became my stepmom.. i already had 2 siblings fro my dads previous marriages and a stepbrother from my stepdads previous marriage, but after about 4 years of my dad and my stepmom being married she had my little sister and then 3 years after that she had my little brother.. everything was normal except for the chapters i had mentioned earlier but anyways, about 3 years after my little brother was born my stepmom and my dad began fighting. At first it wasnt that bad but then it got to the point where my sister would get woke up from the yelling and come into my room and lay with me asking when it would stop.. this broke my heart because i then had to step up and be the "parent" to my siblings because they were too busy fighting... this went on for a few months and eventually my dad became abusive with my stepmom who then filed for divorce leaving me with my dad, we moved out of the house and into our current one where plenty of girlfriends have come and gone until recently where he met a really nice police officer who is nothing like him because she actually has a heart. They have been together for almost a year and things were kinda normal for while until recently when my mom told me that her and my stepdad were getting divorced.. i didnt say anything because my world had just crashed once again, i was shocked because i hadnt known anything wrong with them..  currently they are fighting alot and i cant handle staying in the house with them..they are still currently married filing for divorce and its just gonna be me and my mom on our own for once, which im not excited about because if i act sad it makes my mom sad so i have to be strong for her.. Ive stopped talking to my dad completely and i havent seen my little brother or sister in a month, i really miss them but i have so much going on right now and then im trying to fix my friendships at school and outside of school. i guess my mom and stepdad getting divorced wouldnt be as bad if i didnt look up to my stepdad as a father figure but i do .. In my mind it feels like im causing this even though i know im not, everyone pops in and out of my life and i hate that no one stays... and im so scared that im gonna loose pippy or my other friends.. and i cant help but wonder what i did to deserve this? I cant help but wonder why me ?