Why Me?

Where to start? The beginning..

~January 29, 2016~

     Okay so a lot of shit happens on a daily basis, if its a good day then somethings off typically. Umm to start off i guess that i could say that i am a bisexual girl (which makes life complicated), my dad hates me, i'm in love with my best-friend, i'm a bipolar 15 year old with ADHD, and i'm VERY bad at saying what i'm thinking let alone knowing what my own thoughts mean. About almost two years ago on August 27, 2014 i met an amazing girl named Pippy, i was a naive 14 year old in 7th grade, her and i weren't exactly that close but i was bestfriends with her crush (cassidy) at the time. And yes pippy is bisexual too, of course this put me in an awkward position because my bestfriend at the time (cassidy) also liked pippy this random chick who i didnt know, they dated about 4 times on and off.. Eventually pippy and i became close but unfortunately cassidy and pippy drifted apart, becoming closer to pippy allowed me to grow some feelings for her that i was very confused about at FIRST, (tip:never tell your friends secrets unless you can trust them) and because i was confused about these feelings i went to pippy's ex cassidy for some advice. Well that blew up in my face because cassidy had pippy on face-time the entire time and so pippy found out sooner then i wanted, eventually one of the other girls in our grade told everyone which ruined my seventh grade year for awhile. I felt alone and judged but little did i know that pippy was there for me, and yes of course alot of drama went on that year but this year in 2016 pippy and i are like sisters and its so unbelievable how far our friendship has come in only two years.  This year (2016) pippy had told me that she did like me too, which stirred up alot of thoughts and caused me to go into a trial of confusion. I was clueless about what to think or do, basically it went something like this... we only had one class together and i guess you could say we made the most of it in my opinion...flirting here and there (maybe a butt grab or two lol) but then something just changed. It only took one week for my entire world to come crashing down, pippy stopped liking me, my dad left me, and i fucked up alot of my friendships. So once again i was alone, ive never ever felt more insecure about myself then i did that week, and i still feel that way all because of a few words said and i felt like something was wrong with me or like i did something wrong... Just one week.