The reason

Chapter 3

Some would call my story tragic. Others would tell me to get over it. Either way I'd tell them to shut up. What people think doesn't matter. Their words can only rarely penetrate the concrete fortress I hide behind. Today was one of those days where I was distracted, running through a list of what needed doing. Needless to say, it's stupid not to pay the utmost attention when at school. I realised this after a group of jocks ran by, one "accidentally" knocking me down. Meet school star and Mr Popularity - Brian McLogan. Of course, my books flew everywhere and paper scattered around me. Years of control ordered me to pick up my book and quietly stand. The standing part I did. Naturally, everyone that saw was laughing and snapping photos. and just generally having such a good time they didn't see it coming. Before I can stop myself, I pull my arm back and then snap my fist into his jaw. His hand flies to his mouth and the laughter stops.

I just broke the most important rule in the outcast society (member of 1) : Never draw attention to yourself. And I broke it in the biggest way. "Bitch." Brian spits at me, still cupping his lip. Bending down, I scoop up my stuff and barge my way through the gathered crowd. "Freak." People hiss as I scram, seeing McLogan crowded by his jocks when I glance backwards. As usual no teachers are around, so people slowly disperse of their own accord. Everyone sees the dirty look Brian throws my way. It spoke of revenge.

So I guess I'm not very good at making friends. I could only imagine what he was already planning, filled with rage and humiliation. Thoughts of his torturous ways swirled around my head for the rest of the day. The bell rang out its demanding toll, signalling the transit from one bleary hell to another. I'm confused, I'd expected a hit from Brian by now. He's usually the punch and get it over with then mock kind of guy. I didn't know he had the brains to think that far ahead. It must be the adrenaline of his hate for me. I grabbed my bag and scrammed out the door, eager for the walk home. For a few minutes of solitude.

Unfortunately the minutes of walking in sunshine and birdsong end way to quickly and I end up at my house. House, not home, I belong there as little as I do at school. I open the door as quietly as I can, hoping she's knocked out from the pills. It clicks open softly and I tiptoe inside. Place the mail on the bench, through the kitchen and into the hallway. Pass the living room door, wide open. "Oh good, you're home." No such luck, damn. I leave my bag in the hallway and walk as smoothly as I can into the living room. She's sprawled on the couch, but she stumbles to her feet as I enter. Her lanky hair flops in front of her eyes and she uses her arms to steady herself. As per usual, one of those hands has a bottle of alcohol in it - tequila to be exact. "Come 'ere." She says, almost so I can't make it out. This is her at her worst, all stumbling and bad breath. I walk slowly forward. "Hello, mother." I make sure I'm polite, even if I want to be anything but.

"I sent you a txt at lunchtime, I've b'n waiting for hours." She works hard to sound clear and sober, but fails fantastically. "I'm sorry, it was switched off. I didn't know, I swear." Her eyes wander around the room and then focus back on me. Even from a metre away, the stench of alcohol is almost overpowering. "Liar. You did this to get at me, didn't you. I tell you, your brother would have b'n more reshpectful." The slur is getting worse. Here we go, it all links back to my brother. "He would take proper care of me, he would. Not ignore me. He should still be here, my lovely son. But he was taken, taken!" The last part is a despairing screech. I vaguely wonder if it could shatter the windows, but then focus back on her tirade, dutiful child that I am. "You sh'ld have died, you ungrateful bitch. You sh'ld have died instead." I've heard it all before. Same words, usually the same setting. My life, playing on replay. Her shoulders slump and she sways and I think that's it, that she's exhausted herself. As always, I am wrong.

A/N So, this is chapter 3. If it's going a bit slow, sorry. I promise more dialogue will come soon. Please comment.