The reason

Chapter 23

"Is it because of Brian?" He asks, gently re-applying a new white bandage to cover my arm. I love the touch, gentle and sure, and the way my skin tingles in its presence.

"It's not just Brian, it's about this morning." I say.

"Your father? I knew you were more upset than you'd let on." I both love and am irritated by the way he gets all protective. Has he never heard of girl-power?

"I just thought he'd act like a father. he cared more about a business meeting than his own kid. He just left me, again. I hoped for him to come back for years. I hoped he'd save me from her, from the pain and we'd run away together. He doesn't even care that she's dead, that she abused me. He has a shiny new family that obviously mean more to him than our family ever did. And you know what? He can go die in a hole." I'm shaking and have to force my mouth to close, because I'm not sure I'm making sense. I nervously clamp my teeth together, unsure at the strong jumble of emotions writhing inside me.

"It's like losing him all over again. And after your mother it must be especially hard. It's okay to feel sad, but you don't have to hurt yourself. Talk to me, or my mum and have a good cry every now and again."

"I have no parents, I'm an orphan Ben." This fact bothers me more than it should. I mean, the whole town has been predicting her overdose for years. Maybe I'm finally going crazy, but I still feel the same. Do crazy people feel different?

"You can share my parents." He says solemnly which makes me give a tiny squeal and hit him with my pillow.

"Ewww. I can't do that. Then I'd be dating my brother."

"Oh, right. That would be kind of weird weird." He mutters, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

"Being around you is enough Ben. You've given me life and dreams. You banish the nightmares. As long as I have you, I don't need anyone else." I say, drawing him closer.

"Well that's good to hear. You'll always have me, I'm like superglue." He says, quirking an eyebrow.

"I'm trying to make a romantic speech here." I say, hitting him again with the pillow.

"Yeah?" He says, and suddenly I'm on my back and he's leaning over me. "Isn't this romantic enough for you?" He murmurs and gives me a firm yet gentle kiss on the lips.

A second later a soft pillow slams into my face and my eyes fly open to glare at him.

"After all, what's more romantic than a pillow fight?" As he starts buffeting me again, I reach out and seize my other pillow, getting a few good whacks in back. He backs off the bed under my assault. I pull my arm back and swing my arm around, going for a strong shot. He ducks under it and whacks the pillow against my stomach until I trip over my feet and land on my back. As he aims for my head, a corner rips on the dressing table edge. He lifts it and feathers fly everywhere, drifting slowly down to the ground like snowflakes. It never snows here so I guess this is as close as we'll ever get. I look up at him and decide it's more than enough to make a romantic sight.

"Definitely romantic." I declare and pull him down for a kiss.

"I'm sorry about the pillow." Ben tells me as we open the pizza box for dinner.

"It's just a pillow. It's fine." I say, handing him a slice of my Hawaiian pizza, my favourite. He takes a bite and gives me a cheesy grin, literally. The mozzarella's hanging off a piece of pineapple stuck between his teeth. Ugh, boys are so gross.

"Here, give me a kiss." Shrieking, I dodge away from his open arms and run down the hall to my room, slamming the door behind me.

"Hey? Reegan? Open up, I'm sorry. I'm not making fun of the situation." Does he honestly think I'm upset? It would be too mean not to let him in, so I stay behind the door when I open it. He walks in and while his back is to me I jump and wrap him in a bear hug.

"I know. I wouldn't like you if you were serious all the time. The way you make me laugh is one of the reasons I love you." It slips out and the second I say it I want to clap my hand over my mouth. The silence is an electric storm between us and I can feel my heart pumping faster and faster. I mentally kick myself in the head. I force my trembling legs to stay in place, wishing a hole would open up from the ground and take me into its depths.

"Only one of the reasons?" He says finally, striking yet another of his poses. Does he practice in front of a mirror or something? Because the poses only add to his yummy physique. Drawing me close he murmurs, "I love you too." They're the most beautiful words in the world, and they make me feel like I could leap from rooftop to rooftop, fly higher than any bird. Of course, I would only do it if he was by my side.

I feel strengthened inside and yet weak, as if I've given up half my soul. And in a way I have. I think he feels the same, because we make sink to the bed and I cuddle into my new favourite location, my head resting against the familiar plane of his chest so I can hear every steady thud of his heart.

A/N Naww, aren't they adorable! I tried to make this chapter less serious, I hope it worked. Just a warning, this book is coming to an end. I think the next chapter will be the last one, and then I'll have to think up a new book.  I feel kind of sad that Reegan and Ben's story is coming to a close, does it always feel like this. For everyone who's stuck with the story so far, I love you guys!