Not meant to be friends? Is she being serious?
Jace: Not meant to be friends? Riele what are you talking about? We've been friends since we were 3! We've been together through thick and thin, through all the tough times we've always had each other's backs and now you just want to throw it all away because of a few arguments?
Riele: Jace... We've already had like 3 arguments!
Jace: So? 3 isn't a big number
Riele: It's only been a week!
Jace: So what?! In life people have arguments. It's just natural for people to do. Friends, couple, married couples, siblings, EVERYONE. This isn't gonna be our last argument. There will be more in the future and that's a fact. That doesn't change anything. Our arguments will never change my feelings for you. Just because we argue from time to time doesn't mean I will stop loving you.
Riele: L-love?
Jace: Come on Rie by now you know how I feel about you
Riele stared at me for a few seconds before she spoke.
Riele: That's true...
Jace: I also know that you feel the same way about me
Riele: Also true....
Jace: So if you love me then why don't you let me help?
Riele: I don't know.... I guess... It's just become a habit to push people away.... I've hid every feeling behind a fake smile for so long.... The fake smile became normal.... I've always told people that I'm fine when I'm not.... I never wanted any help
Jace: Why? Why don't you want to be helped? Don't you see that your life could be so much better if you let me help you
Riele: I know.... But... I'm scared...
I held her hand. I gave it a gentle squeeze trying to reassure her that it was okay to talk about her feelings.
Jace: What are you scared of?
Riele: I don't want to be judged....
Jace: What do you mean?
Riele: You've never been in my position.... I'd didn't think you'd understand...
I sighed and kissed forehead.
Jace: Your right Riele... I probably wouldn't understand.... But if you can explain it to me I can try...
Riele: It's hard to explain... The feeling is just....
Jace: Just what?
Riele: Horrible. Reading those comments and hearing what the fans thought of me.... I feel so helpless... It's like I'm stuck in a room with no doors or windows. Just 4 stone walls. All I can hear is the hate... It bounces off the wall and into my ears. Then the thoughts spin around in my head... They won't stop repeating.... I try and I try and I try but I can't ignore it.... .
Jace: Why?
Riele: Because every time I ignore it it's like a boulder is being lifted off of my shoulders.... But when I look at my phone.... The boulder is dropped again... And it hits me harder every time it's dropped...
She looks down then looks back up.
Riele: I guess I understand... It's my fault...
Her fault?! She has to be joking!
Jace: What?! Riele tell me how this is your fault?!
Riele: It's my fault because I'm me....
Jace: You?! Your perfect!
My voice softened as I observed her beauty. So beautiful...
Riele: No I'm not! I'm clingy, emotional, needy, annoying, a waste of space, stressful, weird, quiet, distant, ugly, imperfect, strange, different, unlovable, useless, worthless, lonely, depressed, boring, sad, helpless, a lost cause, broken, defeated... Me.
I swear my heart just broke. I wish she wouldn't feel this way.
She looked down. I did the first thing I could think of. I put two of my fingers on her chin and lifted her head. I gazed into her eyes silently for a few seconds. I started to lean in. She was a little scared but she went along with it. Then shortly after that my lips were on hers.
YOU ARE READING
Fake Smiles (Jaele)
Fanfiction"I'd talk about my feelings.. But I don't think anyone would understand."- Riele Downs
