The Loveless Singles Squad

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AuthorDarkwolf13

Genre: Teen Fiction

No. of chapters read: 4.5

First impression: Teen Fiction set in high school. Wow, haven't seen that before.

Cover: It's not a cover, it's a photo. Not a bad one, but it's not a cover.

Cover rating: Get a cover

Blurb: Wow, look at the fuckton of words. But, if I read carefully, I can actually pick something out. And it sounds interesting. There's a dance coming, single people hate it (duh!). Moving on to the second paragraph... you just lost me.

I agree with all the questions in the third paragraph. What's that squad and how does it work? What's the point of it? Is it like a single people squad? I'll probably find out more inside, but I can't really make out the direction of the story from the blurb.

Blurb rating: I have no idea what the hell is going on.

Let's get it on!

Second impression: Wow, depressed outcast, probably gay guy in high school

Actual review (drum roll please!):

Language: English isn't your first language, is it? Because if it is... that's some awkward language you got there. The sentences are usually extremely long winded and I kinda need a map to find my way out.

You use words like hence, so I definitely think English is not your first language. Yeah, I'll stick with that. So you're excused from this part of the brutal critique!

As a side note, you say the same thing multiple times with different words. Try not to do that. The pace gets killed reaaallly quickly and the reader may decide to take a nap in the middle of the... Zzzzz

Language rating: You have guts writing in a foreign language. Keep it up, dude!

Plot: What's with these weird kids not talking to each other? Is that how normal people function? You talk to strangers when you wait in line and you don't talk to your own class mates? You treat friendly people with sarcasm?

And the whole club thing: why does it have to be anonymous? BTW, meeting at Jake's house makes it anything but anonymous. Why is it such a big deal? Single people usually hang out with other single people all the time, because alike people tend to stick together - just like the supposed losers stick together. Why is this dance such a big deal? And how will a single people club change the rules?

I have to admit I'm a little lost. And that's because, even if it's a neat idea, it isn't exactly a game changer. Plus, as far as I can tell, Jacob and James want to be cool kids themselves and get a ton of girls, but using a form of trickery... sneaky boys, very sneaky. (notice the sarcasm)

Plus, that school is weird as hell with their way of treating supposedly good students. What the hell, school? What the hell?

Plot rating: I'm not sure what's going on

Characters:

Jacob: I can't make up my mind about him. He annoys me, but I sorta get him too. I hate his attitude towards other people, how he hates the popular kids but considers the other outcasts weird. And it's people like him who make the cool kids cool.

But when he's interacting with James, he's likable and his heart seems in the right place.

James: I like him a bit more. He seems okay and a good friend.

Luke: Boy, is he the stereotype jerk...

Yellow boy: Elmer, right? He was interesting for the 20 seconds in which he showed up and Jake was an ass to him. And then there was that awkward hug...

Felicia: Whoa, talking about unprovoked dramatic reactions. The man just said goodbye to you, sheesh.

Goth chick: Why do you not speak?

Other characters: Why do you not count for anything?

Kyle: Vrum, vrum! beep, beep. Boom!!

Jacob's family: We're the dysfunctional family!

Character rating: Awkward as fuck

Why I stopped reading: The writing is too boggled up for my taste, and while the plot slightly interests me, I would only read something like that paired with good humor, impeccable language and twists and turns. The story promises neither. 

It promises a bunch of angsty teenagers getting into shenanigans because of their own perception that they're better than the cool kids. And I hate the cool kids. And the angsty teenagers.  

Grade: Fail. Though keep going, dude. You can only go up from here!


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