Author: @panicking--
Genre: Fantasy (WTH?? Other genres, people?)
No. chapters read: 2
First impression: This sounds pretty interesting.
Cover: It's pretty and it fits your story.
Cover rating: it's pretty and it fits your story
Blurb: Aww, look, a story excerpt! Yeah, I don't give a shit. Where's the end quotation marks? Aha, found them. Right. We have a one paragraph blurb and it's one of those which start with 'In which'.
Um, yeah. This is a review in which Wimbug is not impressed by your blurb. The content is not bad, but you're automatically making the book about you instead of your character, which is damn LAZY. You know I don't like LAZY, right?
So, yeah. No.
Blurb rating: LAZY!
Let's get it on!
Second impression: Okay, too telly. So, so telly.
Actual review *drum roll please*:
Language/Writing:
You, sir, are LAZY! You also might not be a sir, but I'm way too lazy to check. (I'm allowed to be lazy because I have badgers protecting me.)
At first, I thought, okay, it's a prologue, so all this telly shit could work. Plus, the voice seems kinda fun with the billboard almost squashing her and what not. I could get behind this. It sounded interesting.
Chapter 1 killed it for me. NO! This is not how chapter one works. You don't tell me what Rebecca spelled awkwardly did. You show me how she does it. You have absolutely no action in your first chapter.
Which is a shame, since grammar and punctuation are mostly fine. You have some missing commas, but who doesn't?
Language rating: LAZY
Plot: I got the same feeling I did while watching Interstellar. It's not a compliment. I hate Interstellar because it tries to scientifically justify its mumbo jumbo and makes the viewer feel like an idiot. I didn't feel like an idiot.
Time and space are two very different things. Alternative universes are fine. I actually do believe in the multiverse theory. But I don't think you reach other universes by time travel. It's a very delicate, very complicated distinction, but it's there and I feel it.
Also, how does Rebecca spelled awkwardly know that what she'd doing is time travel and not universe travel or whatnot? And how does she know that she totally destroyed Detroit and possibly the world?
Plot rating: you have something with great potential, but handle it right
Characters:
Rebecca spelled awkwardly: her voice is pretty good. I would follow her on her adventures, but I know nothing about her so fat except maybe that she controls time and jumps through universes and then you go all 'look, I'm talking directly to the reader, kinda, by stating I'm not your average heroine' on us. Um... yeah, no.
Character rating: potentially likable.
Why I stopped reading: You actually only have 2 parts up. Which is disappointing because I was going to read at least another chapter to figure out exactly what the hell is going on.
Grade: Fail. For three major reasons. 1. Everything is telling. 2. The story has great potential and you're blowing it. 3. You're LAZY and Wimbug does not tolerate laziness except her own.
Song: Just because of the title.
YOU ARE READING
The Evil Rant And Review Book
Random[CLOSED] Formerly The Evil Reading Request List, this has turned into a showcase of nasty reviews, a place for me to rant. I surprisingly don't rant a lot. The book was discontinued because real life is kicking my butt and I don't have the tim...
