The Evil Rant And Review Book

Prey

Author: Heavenlyhash333

Genre: Fantasy

No. chapters read: 4 (9 parts, WTF?)

First impression: What the hell is it with all these media chapters? Where's the story?

Cover: Freedom's shackles. That is all. Just kidding. The cover is awesome. Does it reflect the interior of the book? I don't know. It looks like freaking sci fi not fantasy. So, even if it's really well done, I feel like the cover is a bit misleading. I'm searching for dystopia, not magic.

Cover rating: Funky, but so inappropriate.

Blurb: It's pretty good, but I feel you get into the history of the world a little too much. I feel like the best blurbs are those who focus on the characters and what they want rather than why the characters are facing what they're facing. That's for the book itself to uncover.

The last three paragraphs are great. The first should be incorporated subtly in the last.

Blurb rating: Not bad, but could be much better.

Let's get it on!

Second impression: I'm still treading through massive chapters filled with media content.

Actual review (drum roll please):

Language/writing: Your language use is good. As in almost professionally good. And I wish I could end this section here, give you a pat on the back and congratulate you on a job well done. I was about to do that, but Marcelo bit my leg and pointed his paw mouthing the word 'wordiness'.

Yes, it's weird to see a badger mouth. It's much weirder to see a badger with glassed, but Marcelo is very short sighted, so I got use to that.

So yes, while your chapters are pretty much okay, that prologue almost put me to sleep. Probably because I really hate omniscient lately. It feels a lot like head hopping, and most times, it's not needed. So, if you're going to write a book in first person, why torture me with an omniscient prologue? At least do it close third! Your prologue benefits in no way from multiple POVs.

So boo for the prologue!

Language rating: Sorry, Marcelo thinks you're wordy. If I say otherwise, he bites. Don't want rabies, nope I don't.

Plot: The plot is very interesting. I love the history of the world and can even look past the fact that you shove it all in one chapter instead of subtly inserting it in the actual story because you avoided a huge info dump by using a chapter full of info dump.

I have no idea where to squeeze this, so I'll put it in here: Those first parts should really go. I want to read your story, not plunge through 4 chapters of... well, nothing! Those pretty pictures and the cast? Yeah, you have in-chapter media. Use that! I forgot the faces of your cast the moment I turned the page. It's distracting.

Right, moving on to the actual plot.

So yes, in a fantastic realm, assy normal people decided to pull all the magic out of the world because they were jealous that magic only chose a selected few to manifest itself. So they fucked up the world. I'd say the premise of jealousy destroying the world is stupid, except humans are usually retarded when it comes to people being better than them, so I'm totally buying this.

So, in this world, Mancers (magic users)are hunted and sold to The Enemy (okay, maybe this name could be a little bit less menacing and obviously evil)for their magic. 

Our heroes, of course, are four young Mancers with different powers who are apparently going to get into a whole lot of shenanigans. fun!

Plot rating: I'm liking the concept.

Characters:

People in prologue: I don't give a rats ass about them.

Mare: Is a hard ass and has the power to transform into the animals tattooed on her. Awesome. She's also running away hoping to achieve... not sure what, but I would've run away too if I were her. I didn't get much sense of her, but I liked the little I've read.

Ezra: Is hella interesting. Like him a lot more. His power is to literally plunge you into your worst nightmare. You go, dude!

January and Oz: The other two people in the blurb. Never met them. Stopped right before January's chapter. They sound cool.

The enemy: Really need to change their damn name. Maybe the fluffy magic chasers or something that doesn't automatically turn them into everyone's enemy.

There are no other characters so far.

Character rating: Enjoyable.

Why I stopped reading: I made up my mind. I like the story enough to maybe continue with it. It's probably going to rot in my library for later enjoyment.

Grade: Pass. I can't deny the originality and the urgency of the story. The writing is also good, so I had absolutely no reason to fail you. No, go away, Marcelo. *aims kick at badger under the table*. So ultra congrats.

Song: You're welcome!