Author: Cross-Warrior
Genre: Fantasy (again...)
No. chapters read: 5
First impression: Yay, more fantasy!
Cover: Your cover is not bad, since it pretty much reflects the story, but it's very... how do I put this? Visually displeasing. I hate it. And not because it's bad, but because my eyes bleed looking at it. The colors are all over the place and that font...UGH! The way mighty has a back shadow makes me want to cry.
Cover rating: *crying in fists*.
Blurb: Sounds like an anchorman giving me a pitch for a soon to be announced movie. Is that a bad thing? Um, yes, probably, because I have no idea what to expect from this book except a hidden fight between THEM and...crash the light?
Yeah, you obviously know it's bad because you promise to fix this soon. That does not make me want to read it. So no pressure...
Blurb rating: No!
Let's get it on!
Second impression: Sigh. Overthinking characters are overthinking.
Actual review *drum roll please*:
Language/Writing:
You know how I called you out in the other review? WORDY! I'm calling you out in your own review now. Also, your overuse of non- descriptive descriptive words (see what I just did here?) paints a very confusing picture. I was fucking confused and had no idea what the hell I was supposed to be visualizing. A dragon? A human? A giant mouth? Mushu from Mulan? What?
From time to time, try to keep it simple. Stop over embellishing the phrases because it gets really old, really fast. --> see, this is identical to what I wrote in my last review because I'm lazy and it applies to you too.
Fortunately, you at least don't use parenthesis.
Grammar and punctuation are mostly fine.
Language rating: chit chat
Plot: The prologue is interesting, though... yeah, same problem with character overthinking things and having some goal that twists and turns with the speed of light. Shortly, girl finds light dragon and intends to kill it. Dragon dies anyway, but bonds with girl first. Dun dun dun!
Skip to chapter one where Josh, our protagonist has a fucked up dream about I don't know what because I couldn't for the life of me understand what he was seeing. It was evil and dark and growling anyway.
Then he goes to school where he is bullied by some twat because reasons... I don't know why Darren started picking on him in the first place, but Josh is nobly holding his attention so he won't hurt others. Also Josh can't really feel pain that well, and that helps.
Unfortunately, for Josh, his bully is taken over by some mysterious dark force and decides he'd rather just kill him in the middle of wallmart and get it over with. Some weird chick appears to save his ass saving him for bonding with what I assume is a dragon.
I'm going to put this right here so you can read it again: I feel like you're forcing it with his denial of the supernatural. Yes, weird shit is happening, but he just dismisses it instead of trying to figure out if there's a pattern or study it further. And you make him deny it for so long for the sake of realism that it's not realistic, but annoying and it clashes with his basic human survival instincts.
Who cares if you're imagining Darren's magical smoke fist? He's trying to kill you. Get the fuck out of there and examine the implications and probability that this is a hallucination later. Don't let your denial make you TSTL (Too stupid to live).
There, I said it.
Plot rating: Interesting, but I'd like to see where it goes from here
Characters:
Isabel: Meh, she seems okay I guess. Thinks too much.
Josh: I actually like him. The way he wants to protect people from Darren. He seems like a nice guy. Does have a one track mind when it comes to videogames.
Darren: Is it weird that I liked weird-possessed-by-dragon Darren better? He was quippy and interesting
Eli: Typical cute younger brother.
Mystery girl: is mysterious and can shoot arrows.
Character rating: likable.
Why I stopped reading: I ran out of chapters. Would've gone another chapter to see where the hell this is going, because it could be awesome or it could be cringe worthy.
Grade: You get a Pass, but I'm warning you about the wordiness. I was really on the fence about this one.
Song: Not giving you one, because it would be the mighty morphing power rangers again...
YOU ARE READING
The Evil Rant And Review Book
Random[CLOSED] Formerly The Evil Reading Request List, this has turned into a showcase of nasty reviews, a place for me to rant. I surprisingly don't rant a lot. The book was discontinued because real life is kicking my butt and I don't have the tim...
