Cameron
With tears streaming down my face, I got into the ambulance with Anna on the stretcher. All I could think about was the guilt piled inside of me, and the questions left unanswered.
Why didn't I stop her?
Would she remember me when she woke up?
And the most terrifying:
Will the baby be okay?
I closed my eyes and tried to remember every feature of Anna while she was awake. I didn't want to look at her bleeding body next to me. I squinted my eyes and saw first, her smile lighting up the darkness of my closed eyes. And then her eyes looking back into mine. And her long, blonde curls fell down her shoulders like curly-cue fries from Arby's.
I opened my eyes and looked at Anna. She was covered in a black blanket. Her face only showed, and it was getting more pale by the minute.
"What are you doing?" I asked the nurse on the ambulance that was covering up her feet. "She isn't dead!" I yelled, not bothering to wipe my face of the tears falling down from my cheeks.
The nurse just gave me a sympathetic look and sat down with her back towards me. The only thing not covered by the black sheet was her head. Her hand also layed on her chest, flat and unmoving. I reached over and took her hand in mine; it was as cold as ice. Her eyes were closed, and her hair fanned out behind her. Just looking at her made me cry even harder.
And when I was convinced she'd never wake up again, her hand squeezed mine. And that was all it took to regain my hope again.
It was late at night when a nurse came in and said that I had to leave.
"I'm not leaving." I said, shaking my head.
"Sir, you have to go. It's night hours, and this patient needs rest."
"Rest? She needs rest? She hasn't even woken up yet." I shook my head again and repeated, "I'm not leaving."
She sighed and turned to walk out the door.
No one else came to visit. The nurses called Anna's parents, but they never showed up. No one showed up. No one but me.
I looked over at Anna. Her leg was in a cast, her head was bandaged up, and she had an IV inside of her. She had a breathing tube hanging out from her nose. A tear fell from my cheek, and I looked away. I didn't want to look at her. It just brought back the guilt.
I sank lower into my chair that I'd pulled over so that I was as close to Anna as I could get. I kicked my shoes off and lifted my legs up and hugged them close to my body. I looked at Anna one last time before falling asleep.
I woke up to the sun shining in my eyes. I didn't remember where I was until I was fully awake. At the memory of my location, my head snapped over to the left of me to see Anna. Her eyes were still closed. I'd wondered if she ever woke up while I was sleeping.
I stood up from my chair and stretched my arms and legs. That chair was really uncomfortable. I walked out the door and down the hallway to the bathroom. I went quickly and went right back to Anna's room. I sat back down on the chair and waited silently for her to wake up.
Please, I thought. Anna, please. Wake up.
And as if on cue, Anna's eyes fluttered open. A tear fell from my cheek and I looked at her. I knew I couldn't touch her, body, so I just took her hand in mine.
"You're awake." I said, and breathed a sigh of relief.
She attempted to sit up, and winced when she tried.
"I feel like I'm in hell." She said, touching her head and scrunched her nose in pain when she did.
"You're okay." I said, thanking God for whatever he just did to make her wake up.
"My baby!" She said. Both hands flew to her stomach. "Is she still alive?" Tears fell from her face. The nurse came in the door.
"I heard something." She said, looking at me. When Anna came to view, she, too, breathed a sigh of relief. "You're awake." She said, a look of concern on her face. "We have to discuss something." She said and pulled a chair to sit next to Anna.
"What happened to my baby?" Anna demanded. "Please, tell me she's alive." Her voice shook as the tears fell on her neck and trickled under her hospital night gown. I cried, myself. I didn't know whether it was for Anna, or the baby. Maybe it was for both.
"She's alive." The nurse said.
Anna's shoulders relaxed next to me.
"But, she is shaken up." She continued. "And, she has several of broken bones."
"Oh, no." Anna cried even harder. "I'm sorry, baby." She said, sobbing. "I'm sorry."
"Don't worry, Anna." The nurse said. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault."
"Yes it was! I didn't need that stupid sonogram. But I ran out into the street anyways. And now my baby has broken bones!"
"They're healing." She said in order to calm Anna down. "Just like yours are." She said and motioned to her leg. "But hers are healing even faster than yours." The nurse smiled at Anna. Anna calmed down a bit.
"So she'll be okay?" She asked when she'd calmed down enough to speak.
"She will be." The nurse nodded and smiled. "Just like you will be." She stood up, kissed Anna on the forehead and left the room. Right as she left, I looked over at Anna and cried.
"I'm sorry I let you go out there." I said, the guilt pouring out of me. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."
"Cameron, it's not your fault." Anna said and looked into my eyes. "You tried to stop me. But I didn't listen. It's my fault." She smiled a little smile at me."Oh yeah, and I couldn't say it back before I blacked out."
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.
"I love you too."
