"Read all you want" [Frerard]

37: Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy

Sorry that it's taking me so long XD I feel like I can't get this the way I want it, but it'll have to do ;) It's okay if it isn't perfect <3 (I need to learn that though XD)

Frank

I stare at Gerard. He doesn't notice it, he is too busy reading a comic. I'm just sitting here. Pretending to be reading a book. I'm thinking. The thing is, I feel... I don't know. 

I sigh and rip my gaze off of Gerard and stare at the words in the book. My concentration is so poor that I can't even read a single sentence. The words don't make any sense at this point anymore.

The thing is, I've been... Well... A little sexually frustrated today? It really bothers me and I just don't know what to do with it. I'm not sure if I'm ready to even do anything with it. It scares me. It scares me to feel this way. It's been a couple of weeks since the 'accident' and I feel bad for thinking about this already. I shouldn't be thinking about this. I shouldn't even feel this way. Not yet. It's too soon. Right?

But I do feel like that and it frustrates me. Does this make me a bad person?

Gerard looks up from his comic. "Frank?"

I blush as I look up at him. "Yes?" I choke out startled. Gerard sighs and puts his comic away. 

"Something is bothering you. Could you tell me what it is?" he asks me gently. I blush even more. I'm not sure if I could say it. What will Gerard think of me when I tell him how I feel? 

I can't lie to him, though. So I put down my book and pull my knees up against my chest. "I've been feeling a little... Uhm..." I stutter and I bite my lips. It's not that freaking hard to say, right? "I'm... excited." I say then. I hope Gerard will understand what I mean. When I see the smirk on his face, I know he does. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah..."

"And how do you feel about it?" he asks me then. I shrug. 

"I don't know. It's just weird. I feel like it's way too early to feel like this, but... I just don't know." I sigh out. Gerard smiles. 

"It's not too early, Frank. It's a natural human feeling that comes up every once in a while. It might be too early to actually do something with it, but that's completely up to you to decide. Don't feel ashamed for feeling like this, okay?"

I think about his words. He's right. Again. The feeling is normal. Human. What I do with the feeling is up to me. Not that I know what I want to do with it. I smile hesitantly at Gerard. "Thank you, Gee." He smiles back. 

"You're welcome sweetheart. If you want to try and do something with it, please tell me. But take all the time you need, we're not in a hurry or something and I can wait, so don't do anything until you really want to." he smiles and gestures me to sit next to him. I quickly do and rest my head onto his shoulder.

"You're special, Gerard..." I whisper.

"So are you, Frankie."

It's silent for a while. Gerard is reading his comic again and I am leaning onto him with my eyes closed. Enjoying the low sounds of his breathing. The feeling of how his chest rises and falls again. 

I think about what I want. I'm not ready to really have sex yet. That's too much. But I do want a little more than just a couple of hugs and kisses a day. It's not just the sexual frustration. I miss the intimacy as well. 

Intimacy.

"Gee?"

"Yes?"

I lean in and kiss him. Gerard moans in surprise and before he can kiss be back, I break the kiss. Gerard looks at me in confusion. 

"Sir?" I whisper softly and trail my fingers over his chest. Gerard raises an eyebrow.

 "Yeah?" 

I smile and blush a little. "Can we... Uhm... Can we do the feeding thing again?" I whisper. Gerard's eyes light up. 

"I'd love to, Frankie," he whispers and kisses my forehead. "What do you want for dinner?"

I shrug. "Really, I wouldn't know. As long as it's vegetarian I'm okay with it," I say then. Gerard grins. 

"I'll cook for you, okay? Can you call Mikey and Ray about meeting up for band practice somewhere this week?"

"Of course. Again, thank you so much Sir. For taking care of me."

"I'll always take care of you."