"Read all you want" [Frerard]

43: Ray and Mikey's special bond

Gerard

Frank is extremely nervous. He's fumbling with his clothes and chewing on his lip. I wish he wouldn't do that. I know his lips will be sore later on. I do understand why he is so nervous. We decided to ask Mikey and Ray what they would think about taking a little break from My Chemical Romance. No new tour, no new album. No announcement of it to our fans, we don't want to scare them yet. But we need time. Frank needs it most, but I to do too.

I want to spend my time with Frank as much as I can. When we're on tour, we'll be together. But we won't have any privacy there. Zero. Nothing. Frank still needs time to heal. He needs me there with him. So many things have happened and I would love some time off to just relax and have fun. And maybe, just maybe, I am getting ready to settle down.

Frank slowly sips from his drink and moves a little closer to me. One of his fingers absently trails across his collar as some kind of reassurance and I wrap my arm around his waist. I know he's trying to find some comfort in his submission to me.

"It's okay baby, I've got you. Don't-"

"What is going on, Gee."

Mikey's expression is harsh. He knows bad news is coming. Ray just stares at us, the confusion on his face very visible. I wish we didn't have to do this. I know they won't like this. After all they've been through with My Chemical Romace. They can't just give it up.

"Frank and I can't get on tour again. Not yet. We need time. We need a break from the band."

Silence fills the room. Ray bites his lips and lowers his head. Mikey just stares at me, the same harsh expression still on his face. Then he slowly shakes his head.

"We can't do that, Gerard. You know that. We have to plan another tour. We haven't been everywhere with Danger Days. People expect us to come to their cities and give them a show."

"I know, Mikey. I know. But we can't do it. Frank needs time. He isn't ready. I need to be there with him. He needs me." I try to explain. Mikey swallows and nods. His face softens and hsomes a faint smile.

"I understand. Sorry. I just... I didn't see this coming. Of course I understand that you need more time, Frank."

"But... Now what?" Ray asks us quietly. "What are we going to say to our fans? We did promise we would announce another tour soon. They're waiting for us."

I sigh. I hate having to do this. Ray's dedication to the band is enormous. Many people tend to forget about Ray a little, but without him, I don't know how many of us would still be here alive. We've all had our bad periods. Ray has always been there. He's always had a lot of creative ideas. The way he masters his guitar is why we've gotten so famous. Frank is good. Mikey is good. I'm good. Ray is amazing. More than amazing.

I think he's going to have the hardest time with this little hiatus. I feel sorry for him.

"I know, Ray. I'm sorry. But if we don't take this break, I don't think we would be able to do it anymore. I want to go on with My Chem. Therefore we need this break."

It's silent. I don't know what to say anymore, neither does Ray. Frank clears his throat and I watch him.

"Sir, can I go to the toilet please?" he whispers quietly and it's only then that I notice his eyes are red and watery. His hands are shaking. He's overwhelmed and needs a break.

"You can." I whisper gently and kiss his cheek. He nods and quickly makes his way towards the toilet. When he's gone, I turn my attention to Mikey and Ray.

"See, this is one of the reasons we need a break. He's still anxious all the time... It's a lot better already, but still not what he used to be like."

Ray sighs and nods.

"I know. I understand it too, it just hurts..." he whispers quietly. Mikey wraps an arm around Ray's shoulder and they smile at each other. They're both straight, but somehow they've always had a very special bond. I'm glad they have each other. They'll get each other through this.

"I'm going to check on Frank." I whisper. Mikey nods.

"You're taking such good care of him, I'm really glad he has you, Gee. Really. You're doing great. I know that as a Dom you need to hear this as well sometimes. I'm no Dom, but I can see how well the two of you work out." I can't help the tears that fill my eyes and I walk over to both Ray and Mikey.

"Thank you. I couldn't wish for better friends." I give them a hug and smile. Then I walk over to the toilet to see how Frank is doing.

"Hey baby. Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I just needed some place quiet for a second. Wait a second then I'll come out."

I hear the toilet flush and then the door opens. Frank immediately rushes into my arms and I kiss his forehead.

"Ray and Mikey are okay with it. I promise. Are you coming?"

Frank smiles up at me and nods.