"Read all you want" [Frerard]

38: Talking about taking a bath

Hi! Ooohhh how it's been so longggg, we're so sorry we've been gone!!! We were busy writing song (stories) for you!!! (p!atd anyone? ^^). 

Just kidding. Though I am really sorry about not uploading. School took so much of my time. I passed all my tests so let's say it was a good choice. But I've missed writing so much and now I finally have time! So enjoy this chapter <3

XxX

Gerard

I smile gently at Frank as he kneels down next to my chair. His eyes sparkle in anticipation and I can't even describe how happy the sight makes me. Frank wants this. He is enjoying it, even though we haven't even started yet. I need this as well. I never realized I did, but I do. I really, really do. Looking after someone like this... The amount of loyalty and trust Frank has towards me is overwhelming. Beautiful. 

"My sweet, sweet boy..." I whisper softly and caress his cheek. Frank closes eyes and makes a soft noise in content. Almost like a purr. "Are you okay down there?"

Frank opens his eyes again and nods at me. "I'm good, Sir."

"Good boy."

Frank bites his lips and his cheeks turn a light shade of red. I know how much the words do to him. He needs the affirmation. It makes him feel safe. Loved. He'll know he's doing a good job. That knowledge makes him happy. I love making him feel that way. I love it when his cheeks flare up, when he sends me that loving smile. Especially since the thing that happened to him. I don't think I could stand seeing him that broken ever again. I won't ever forget it, neither will Frank, but I'll try to ignore the images in my head and replace them with new, good memories. Like this.

I smile as I slowly lower my fork in front of his face. Frank swallows and looks right into my eyes. I frown, but he just keeps staring back and slowly tilts his head. He's waiting. Waiting for me to tell him to go on. So submissive. Oh damn how much I've missed this. 

"It's okay, Frankie. You may eat."

Frank leans in, slowly, and closes his lips around the fork and slowly pulls back. I watch him as he chews and swallows it, and bites down his bottom lip. I raise my eyebrows, silently asking him what's up. Frank lowers his head against my leg and purrs softly as he rubs his head against my leg.

"Frankie?"

I slowly lift his chin and frown when I see that there are tears in his eyes. I put the for down and gesture Frank to come sit down on my lap, which he does. He immediately buries his head in the crook of my neck and sighs. 

"I-I don't even know what's... What's wrong with me. I just..." he stutters out and lets out a shaky breath. I gently rub his back and hold him close against me. 

"It's okay Frank... I've got you." I whisper and close my eyes. My poor boy... I know that he knows what's wrong. He's just scared to tell me. His parents thought him to not ever say anything that even has the slightest hint of something unusual. Frank has been doing a lot better lately, but he still hates to speak up. 

"Frank, baby. Whatever it is, I won't judge you. I'll help you. I promise." I whisper softly. Frank sniffs and presses his face into my neck with more pressure.

"I just..." he says timidly, his voice muffled by my skin. "I can't... Fucking hell." he curses when the right words won't come. I don't say anything. I just wait for him to start talking. "I feel like something is wrong. I... I want so many things but I am so scared. And... I just feel so vulnerable and helpless and... I love all of this, Gerard. But I feel like something is missing. The thing that I miss, is sex. I... I want you so badly but... I don't know. I just don't know it anymore..."

"Sweetheart. Look at me..." I whisper and wait patiently until he lifts his head and stares at me. "It's fine. It's okay that you're not sure about what you want. Listen. Why don't we finish dinner. Then we take a bath together. It'll be relaxing. We'll be naked, but we don't have to do anything. You can slowly try to do whatever you want to try, and if you want to stop, we'll stop. If nothing happens, that's fine as well. We shouldn't force anything. Just let it happen. And baths are very calming. How does this sound to you?"

Frank bites his lips, but I can see a smile break through, and my entire world lights up again. Then he slowly nods and kisses my cheek.

"That s-sounds perfect." he whispers and quickly wipes away a tear and sniffs once again. "Thank you." 

I caress his cheek and grin. "Now, back on your knees baby, dinner is getting cold."

Frank chuckles and quickly kneels down next to the chair again, looking up at me lovingly again. I smile as I pick up the fork and start feeding him again. Frank and I, we'll be okay.