it is .... adam. "hey adam" i say and he just looks at me
"amber what is on your arm" he asks me
"nothing" i say to him .... in reality there are scares from self harm
"amber" ryan says walking in with chad and nick
"what" i say in a nasty way not wanting to tell them anything
"dont get nasty with me" ryan says now im mad
"why is that a rule" i yell, get up, and push my way through them
"AMBER" chad yells at me
"WHAT" i yell back and then kawasaki people come in the trailer
"stop yelling or we will suspend you from the next race amber" they say to me
"what!?!? me!?!?" i say
"yes you" they say
"no no no no you see just because i am a girl and i am a minor doesnt mean you can push me around chad was also yelling" i say and they just look at me "you people all want to know whats on my arm might as well tell you the whole fucking story!!!! when i was in 3rd grade i started to get bullied and then i was diagnosed with ADHD, ADD, OCD, ODD, and if you dont know what that means it means that i am hyper and i have to take meds for it and odd means i am difiant without knowing and ocd means everything has to be a cirten way. like everything has to be an even number and all that nice stuff. when i got older the bullying got worse and i started to cut myself. and then since i staretd to cut they put me in the hospital and then i tried to kill myself which wound me back up in the hospital" i say leaving the part about my parents abusing me out. when i was little my parents verbally abused me and then when i got older they started to phsicall abuse me and then it only got worse where when i would cut they would punish me by hitting me in places no one would see and rhen they wouldnt do it when it was summer time which ment they saved it till winter and so wqinter would be even worse but im not going to tell them that because no matter how hurt i was at home i needc to get my friends numbers when i go back then i will call ryan or adam or chad or nick and rhwen they van help. i mean they might be mad at me for not telling them and i would understand if they didnt want to help me. i guess i shouold tell at least one of them but if they say something i may never see my friends again. my friends were my support and i dont mean i relied on them for everything but when my family wasnt there which was always my friends were there and i can not just leave them with out knowing what happened to me.
"amber why did you not tell us about any of this we need to tell someone" nick says and i know where nick is going with this. there is always my one friend who sees it to make my life a living hell when i tell them because i dont know how to keep shit to myself and so yeah. i really do not want sopmeone like that in my life because thoes people are always the same
"why" i ask
"you t5ried to kill yourself you can not be here you are a danger to yourself everyone who has ever tried or thought of killing themselfs need to be in the hospital forever" nick says
"excuse me no people get better" i saqy
"why you try to kill yourself them???? was it a boy????" he asks. i cant tell him it was because of my parents
"yeah ...." i say not wanting to lie but knowing i have to .... i know where he is going with this and it is the same thing the last person did to me .... why and what will happen next time blah blah blah blah shit i dont want to hear
"and what will happenen if it happens again???? huh???? will you try to kill yourself again???? will you do something else???? how did you try to kill yourself anyway" nick asks. i look at everyone else and they are all staring at me
"i dont wanna say" i answer
"tell us amber" nick says
"ryan" i say and ryan just looks at me
"well amber was it a rope did you try to hang yourself????" i keep eye contact "no???? did you swallow a bunch of pills????" he asks and i once again keep eye contact "no???? did you inject yourself with something" he asks and i know he is getting close but i keep eye contact "no???? did you jump" he asks and i keep eye contact "no???? was it something you did like walk in frount of a bus or car or train????" he asks and i really know he is really close now "no???? well did you cut your wrist" he asks .... i keep eye contact for as lng as possible but cant do it. i start to cry and look down "ahhh ha" he says and i look up at him "not let me ask you something miss amber when was this" he asks "and tell the truth" he says
"january 18th 2015" i answer crying and wipping my tears
"when was the last time you cut" he asks me
"December, the beggining" i answer starting to cry now
"and when was the last time you wanted to cut" he asks me. i cant tell him he is making em want to cut
"the end of december" i answer
"and when was the last time you wanted to kill yourself oh and also dont lie because i know you want to cut now because i know that you want to now so tell the truth" he says
YOU ARE READING
Adam Cianciarulo and Amber
FanficWhen I was younger, I was adopted. I'm Amber. When I found out my birthday was ryan Villopoto, my whole life changed. He took me away from the parents who had raised me. I don't mind because I have had so many problems with them. But Ryan has 4 rule...
