Perfectly Imperfect - Book 2 in the Perfect series [Watty's 2016]

Chapter 5- Dont Panic

"Your serious, right?" I asked and mum and dad both sighed.

"McKenna you have to go to school in the fall. You need an education." Dad said and I sighed. I don't wanna go to school. It's July 17th and we started the conversation about school.

"Fine, whatever." I said standing up going to my room. I took my guitar and started to sing. I do this when I'm stressed/mad.

'I ponder of something great

My lungs will fill and then deflate
They fill with fire
Exhale desire
I know it's dire
My time today

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

Sometimes quiet is violent
I find it hard to hide it
My pride is no longer inside
It's on my sleeve
My skin will scream
Reminding me of
Who I killed inside my dream
I hate this car that I'm driving
There's no hiding for me
I'm forced to deal with what I feel
There is no distraction to mask what is real
I could pull the steering wheel

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

I ponder of something terrifying
'Cause this time there's no sound to hide behind
I find over the course of our human existence
One thing consists of consistence
And it's that we're all battling fear
Oh dear, I don't know if we know why we're here
Oh my,
Too deep
Please stop thinking
I liked it better when my car had sound

There are things we can do
But from the things that work there are only two
And from the two that we choose to do
Peace will win
And fear will lose
There's faith and there's sleep
We need to pick one please because
Faith is to be awake
And to be awake is for us to think
And for us to think is to be alive
And I will try with every rhyme
To come across like I am dying
To let you know you need to try to think

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence

(Oooh) [x4]

And now I just sit in silence [x2]
And now I just sit

And now I just sit in silence [x3]
And now I just sit

I ponder of something great
My lungs will fill and then deflate
They fill with fire
Exhale desire
I know it's dire
My time today

I have these thoughts
So often I ought
To replace that slot
With what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole
My car radio
And now I just sit in silence.' I looked down at the purple guitar in my hands and threw it on the floor. It's been killing me. For weeks. I went to my bathroom and took my blade out. All of the hate on twitter. All of the stress. Just everything.

One cut for the bullying. Two for the people that hate me. Three for all of the stress. Four for not being talented. I got up to eight before I heard a knock on the door.

"McKenna are you okay?" Dad asked in a soft tone. I then realized I was bawling my eyes out. Another cut for being a freak. Another for being a horrible person. "McKenna open up!" Dad yelled banging on the door. I just cried and cut more. Another for not being good enough. "MCKENNA HELENA OPEN THE DOOR!" Dad yelled before I heard him break it open. He can't see me. But I couldn't stop. More tears fall as I made another cut and felt him bang on the door.

"McKenna open the door, Please!" He yelled. He sounded really upset but I couldn't stop. I couldn't do anything. I took a deep breath and let out another sob. I heard the door slam open and I dropped the blade. I heard a gasp and arms wrapped around me pulling me up sitting me on the toilet.

"Keep your eyes open, baby girl." Dad said. It sounded like he was screaming. Everything started to blur and I felt myself getting lightheaded.

"ELLA!" Dad yelled downstairs. "ELLA CALL 911!" He yelled and I heard heavy footsteps.

"D-Daddy?" I whispered and I felt him look at me. He held me in his lap and I buried my head I his chest. "Don't let me go." I whispered before everything went black.
______

I woke up in a hospital bed and felt someone holding my hand.

"W-What happen?" I asked looking over to see mum and dad. Mum looked at me and sighed standing up.

"I'm gonna go get the doctor." She said kissing my head and running a hand threw my hair before walking out.

"McKenna... Why?" Dad asked and I looked him in the eyes.

"Dad, I'm being bullied. Really bad."

______

The next day I went home. I wasn't allowed near sharp objects. Bummer. I sat in the lounge with my feet on the sofa resting my back on the side. I was reading The Fault In Our Stars and crying like a baby.

"McKenna are you okay?" Mum asked sitting at my feet. I nodded and wiped my tears.

"This book," I started throwing it on one of the other couches. "Is really sad."

"Grandpa Dan cried reading it, too. But he was in a plane." Mum said and I laughed.

"Now I'm gonna read Looking For Alaska." I said standing up going to my room. I was just about to go into my room when I heard something. It sounded like crying. I found the source and realized it came from Lottie's room. I slowly opened the door and she looked at me and stood up.

"Get out!" She yelled and pushed me out.

"Lottie what's wrong?" I asked and she scoffed.

"Like you care!" She yelled and I looked at her.

"I do care! What's wrong?" I asked and she pushed me back even farther.

"Leave me the hell alone!" She yelled and I looked at her confused.

"I don't know what's wrong with you but you need to calm the fuck down." I said and she gasped. Then I felt a sting on my check. She hit me.

"I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE YOU SELFISH BITCH!" She yelled while slamming her bedroom door shut. I just stood there looking at the door. What is her problem? I ran downstairs and mum looked at me.

"Are you okay?" She asked an I nodded. I went to the practice room in the basement and slammed my hands in the piano. If you can't tell I play music when I stressed or mad. An hour or two later mum came down and grabbed my wrists.

"Calm down or your gonna break the piano." She said slamming the lid over the keys. I sighed and put my head down.

"What happen love?" She asked and I looked up at her.

"Charlotte called me a selfish bitch and slapped me." I said and mum nodded.

"Ill be back." She said and I followed her upstairs. "CHARLOTTE!" She yelled and I sighed. What is wrong with her?
______

We sat at the dinner table in an awkward silence. This is killing me! I pushed my plate back and stood up.

"I done." I whispered going upstairs away from the silence. Something's wrong, and I'm gonna find our what it is.
______

There. I need to get ready for school. BYE! >•< MEOW!