Long Distance Call | tayley ✓

14 | God Is Love and Love Is Real

{tw!!! r*pe mentions}

[Taylor]

Hayley stares blankly at me, her mouth open. She doesn't speak, so I just sigh.

"I think I'm gonna go," I say and reach for the phone to end the call. But she holds up both hands, her eyes going wide just as her mouth was.

"No!" she exclaims, hands dropping to her sides. My hands do the same and my arms cross over my chest after a second.

"Let me just, I don't know. Explain myself, I guess. Josh told you that him and I had sex?" she asks me, as if in total shock. I don't see why she's acting this way, seeing as how she's the one who was involved in it. She has no reason to be upset with me. I guess I shouldn't be acting hostile towards her, because it's not like her and I had anything going on between us back then. But still, I did care. I can't help my weird feelings.

"He didn't tell me directly at first. Word got around really quickly what you two did. Josh didn't want everyone to know, though. I was at the same party as you, and I had overheard someone saying that you and him had just went into one of the rooms of the house. Twenty minutes later or so, I see him walking out of a room. I saw him speaking to some guys about it, and as I came closer, I overheard him talking about the things you two did. Wasn't a big fan of hearing him talk about someone I had a liking for in that way. But, uh, yeah. Pulled him aside, and he said that it was with you." Following my explanation, there is a silence. I don't even look at the screen, instead staring at my feet for a moment. Her voice pulls me back in.

"Taylor..." she says softly, causing me to look back up. She's chewing on her lip, a pained expression has taken over her features. "I didn't do that. Okay, yes, I'll admit one thing: I was going to. I drank a lot that night, more than I ever had before. I don't drink much anymore, and when I do, I limit how much I do drink. Because I'm so scared of things like that repeating. But do you wanna know what really happened?" she asks me. I nod as I chew on my lower lip.

"I was going to. Until it hit me, hey, why the fuck am I doing this? I was a virgin at the time and really didn't want to give myself away to this guy that meant nothing to me. So I told him that I changed my mind, and, uh, he didn't really like that. So I tried to go, but he sort of just blocked my body, did whatever to keep me in the room. I had to hit him, you know, down there. I don't really like talking about this, so..yeah."

Well, I feel like the worst person in the world, now, after being so bitter towards her. I look down at my hands, afraid of what else I should say.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, at a loss for what else I could possibly say.

"Look, it could have been worse. If I hadn't been able to get him off of me, then it would be a different story. But that wasn't the case, of that night, so I'm alright. You're actually only the second person I've told, so don't tell anyone, okay?" I nod. Like I would do such a thing.

"New topic!" she says, and I couldn't agree more. A topic change is indeed needed. "Just tell me about yourself," she says, resting her chin in her palm.

"Alright, let's see. I'm religious. I really hate working out, so the fact that I'm going to be making a career as an athlete is crazy to me. I love eating and being alone, I'm an introvert. Fall is my favorite season. I hate mornings. I own a red beanie that I wear all the time, but I left it at home. Definitely going to have my mom send that over. It's a must. Also, I have some tattoos. Wanna see?" I ask, already beginning to pull my right shirt sleeve up before receiving an answer.

"Sure, I'd love to see them. I have a few, my parents don't love them. Lemme see," she says, leaning closer to the phone.

I flex my right arm a little bit. I do my best to make it so that the flexing isn't too obvious, but I'm sure that I fail. Gotta impress Hayley. Does she know that I'm still into her? Whether she's aware or not isn't a big deal. She doesn't seem to dislike me, so maybe she likes me as well. I can only hope. Unfortunately, she's thousands of miles from me.

I point to my bird tattoo that I have inked on my inner upper arm, on my bicep. "This one's a bird, as you can see. It was my first tattoo. All of my tattoos have stories behind them, so I'm not going to go into deep detail of their meaning and all of that," I explain and reposition my arm a bit so that the second tattoo I had ever gotten is visible to her.

"This one is a lyric. God is love and love is real. It's a quote from a song I love. It's called The Soviet, by mewithoutYou. Have you ever heard of them? They're not very popular. They're absolutely amazing, my favorite band, actually. You should give 'em a listen, if you have the chance."

"Maybe I will. What was that song called? I'll have to listen to it."

"The Soviet," I repeat, earning a nod from her.

"What else, what else. I have this one tattoo, next to that one, it's just of three flowers. This one doesn't have too much significance, I just like flowers," I say, earning a giggle from the girl. It's music to my ears.

"Beside that one, I have a cross," I explain, lifting my arm a bit so that the tattoo is visible to her. "So with that one, it made it so that there were tattoos wrapping around that section of my right arm. One last one," I tell her, dropping my arm for a second. I extend my arm, showing her one directly beneath the tattoo of the bird I have.

"This one's an anchor. There's a banner on it, it says Yorga. That's a weird word, I know, I know. But that's an alternate word for York. There's a bit more behind it, but that's really the summary of it all. Sorry if I bored you," I chuckle and look back at the screen to see her smiling. Her chin is resting on her knees as she stares adoringly.

Fuck, she's cute.

"Can I see your tattoos?" I ask, suddenly not feeling totally comfortable with talking about myself. What if I'm actually boring her? That's the last thing that I want.

"Hm, I dunno, York. Maybe I sh--"

Mid-sentence — or mid-word, rather — she's cut off by another feminine voice. "Hayley," says the voice. Her head instantly whips in one direction.

"I've gotta go. Hey, text me later? Maybe we can FaceTime again, whenever we're both free. As long as our timezones allow it," she says with a laugh. I puff my lower lip out in a pout.

"Okay. You better text me back. And I'll definitely want to FaceTime you again later. I really like your face, and really like you," I say. Wait, what? Why did I just say that? She smiles, but it seems somewhat awkward and forced. Without another word being spoken, she ends the call.

Why do I even speak?