Long Distance Call | tayley ✓

34 | Opening Up

{tw!!! self-harm mentions}

[Taylor]

Within seconds, my pants begin to feel tighter. I feel completely under her control right now, which, frankly, I love. Her lips are now against my neck, hands at my sides. I'm sure she's leaving a hell of a mark, right now. But I can't even complain. Even if it's visible come tomorrow, I don't care, even better. I'll gladly face the embarrassment of explaining it.

"Hayley. Please," I breathe out. Begging, really. I don't really know what to do with my hands. They eventually end up at her sides, though our arms are all awkwardly tangled. It's all alright, though. I'm way more focused on Hayley right now. The way she has to stand up on her tiptoes just a little bit. The tiny noises she makes every few seconds as her lips are against my skin. Good god, everything about this girl is perfect to me. After a few seconds, her lips part from my skin.

"Yes?" is all that she says. The word comes out just a little bit slurred. Her eyes are wide when I glance down at her. Her bottom lip has been captured between her teeth. With how she looks, it's just about impossible to refrain. I cup her cheeks, lean down, and bring my lips against hers. I have to bend down, yet she's still raised on her tiptoes. She's so small, so petite and precious.

My lips part from hers after a few seconds. I don't really know how long it was, actually, but I don't care. We're both breathless. Especially me.

Without another word, I lead her into the bedroom along with me. I take a seat on the edge of the bed, my girlfriend immediately climbing into my lap. My hands rest on her legs as she straddles my waist. Her own hands come up to cup my cheeks, just as I had been doing to her earlier. When her hips begin to grind against mine, I have to pull away. My head tips back just a little bit, her hand coming down to rest against my chest. Her finger runs down my chest, pausing at my bellybutton, and then running back up to my collarbone.

"Are you sure about this, Hayley? We don't need to do this. I know that you're drunk, and I just don't want you to regret this." I desperately need her, right now. But really, if she doesn't want this, especially as bad as I want this, I'm not going to be an asshole and force her into something she doesn't want to do.

To shut me up, it seems, her lips meet mine once again. I'll take that as a yes - she does want this. Her lips move away from mine, her head nodding for sure confirmation.

Her shirt comes off. She immediately tries to have me remove mine. But I shake my head a little bit, refusing to have it removed. At least for right now. I don't want her to be able to see what's hidden underneath the fabric. My scars are definitely something I'm proud of.

Her bottoms join her top in a ball on the floor. She's left in only her undergarments, an absolutely beautiful sight.

"Lay down on the bed," I insist, which she does instantly.

I remove my jeans — leaving me in my shirt and boxer briefs —and then climb above her. Once again, our lips meet for an intimate kiss that lasts a moment or two. I pull away and bring my lips to the skin of her neck. Just as she'd done earlier to me, I suck on her pale skin. Little moans escape her lips all the while. After another minute, I pull off to admire the fresh mark left on her skin.

"Please, Taylor. I want you. And I want to be able to see all of you." She's begging. And damn, this girl is driving me crazy. Part of me wants to say no, but another part of me wants to give in to every last wish of hers.

I let out a soft sigh before tearing my shirt off. I hate the way her expression changes the second my stomach is exposed. The way her mouth opens, her entire face changing into an expression of fear. Maybe not fear, actually, but for sure something at least near such an emotion. I look down at my stomach, hating the scar that stretches horizontally along my abdominal area.

"Taylor...what's..." she doesn't finish her sentence, just trailing off. Then again, she is drunk. So her thoughts are most likely all jumbled up. She's confused, though, I can tell.

"It's...nothing," I speak, before leaning down. I attempt to return my lips to hers, only to essentially be denied. Her hand comes up, blocking my face from hers. Pouting, I move away.

She sits up, hands in her almost bare lap.

"Tell me." She's demanding it. I don't have a choice. I take a seat beside her, hand running through my short curls. Her hand rises to play with the small curls at the back of my neck.

"When I was in high school, well, I really wasn't in the best place. Emotionally. I don't want to bore you with the details, but something triggered me. And, yeah. I hurt myself. I had hurt myself a lot, not like this was a one time deal. But this was the worst of the times. It was after a game that we lost. And all of the blame was put on me. I was afraid I would end up bleeding out. I don't even know if that's possible, considering the area of where I'd done it. But it wouldn't stop. It was terrifying. Oh, fuck, here I am. Bored you with the details, like I said I wouldn't. God, I'm so dumb. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We don't need to do this, I probably completely killed the entire moment. We can just go to bed, I'm sorry." I say sorry a lot, can you tell?

"No. I want you. I still want this. I think I might actually want this more, right now. Because I want to make you feel really, really, really good. I want to make you feel handsome, and I want to make you feel good about yourself. If you don't want to, we don't have to. But I want this, as long as you do."

I can't believe how much I want her right now. I don't even know how I can like someone so much. I've never even opened up to anyone about this. Besides Jeremy, but him aside, nobody else. But Jeremy knows just about everything about me. I'll save that story for another time.

Right now, someone else is my main focus.