Long Distance Call | tayley ✓

38 | Promise

{tw!!! abuse + mentions of self-harm/depression/suicide}

[Hayley]

"You said she was just a friend."

"Because how the fuck else was I supposed to categorize her? Crazy ex girlfriend?" Taylor retorts. He's raising his voice with me, which I'm not a fan of. Him and I are now in his living room. With me sitting on the couch, he's standing, pacing. I don't really know why. He's not the one who had part of their heart broken a moment ago.

"Did you kiss her, like she said you did?" I need to know the truth. We can't just not talk about this. Because that'll only result in worse arguments in the future of our relationship. He stops his pacing. I know the answer, now.

If this argument were to take place in a regular setting, where my home isn't thousands of miles away, I'd surely be hurrying home to get away for a little bit. But that's not exactly an option here.

"I wasn't thinking..." he defends himself. "She did it, and...and I didn't really process what the hell was going on. I just went with it, I guess. I didn't kiss her back but I didn't fight it. Look, I'm sorry that I hurt you."

I know he's doing his best to explain and defend himself. But I feel like I have several questions that need to be answered. I know that I'm probably overreacting over this entire situation, but still.

"I don't want to be...whatever she was to you. Just a fuck buddy."

"You mean so much more to  me than she ever did. She was never important to me, definitely not as important as you are to me. If you think I would be willing to maintain a long distance relationship, one that we'll go back to once you return home, to just consider you a 'fuck buddy' then you are so wrong. Can I....fuck. I just need to tell you something. Not a lot of people know about it. But I trust you to not judge me."

I don't know what it is that's causing him this obvious stress. Again, he's not the heartbroken one. I nod and move over on the couch. He takes a seat beside me and briefly buries his face into his hands. He removes his hands from over his face and runs a hand through his short, curly, dark locks.

"I didn't even want to be with Baylie. Me and her were just sex and I had gotten tired of even that. But she kept luring me back in. Eventually, I was forced to ask her to be my girlfriend. So I did. I didn't even want that, though. But..." he pauses, his hand reaching for mine. But he doesn't even bother looking up, so he's basically just reaching for air. But I take his hand into mine, noticing that he's shaking a little bit.

"She would yell at me. And she would hit me. She'd call me names. I'm aware that I sound like a five year old for complaining about that, but I mean really degrading names. She'd make me do certain things for her while in public. Force me to post about her all the time, all of said posts have been deleted, though. Make me look a certain way and tease me relentlessly if I didn't live up to those expectations. She would make fun of things that she knew I was sensitive about. I'm so much more comfortable around you, Hayley. I don't know what it is, I don't. But you make me feel better than she ever could. When she had asked about what was going on, with my nasty scars, I didn't tell her the truth. I told her that I'd been scratched by an animal or something. In other words, the most common lie ever when it comes to cutting."

He exhales a heavy breath, showing he's nervous. I raise a hand to rub his shoulder a little bit. My hand creeps up further north and I scratch gently at the back of his neck.

"And I would keep saying I was gonna leave, and she would keep saying she was sorry, and she would keep luring me back in, I don't know what was wrong with me. I only got worse. I wanted to kill myself, Hayley. I wanted to be dead. I started smoking because I thought it would ease my pain. Luckily, I was able to kick the habit after some time. But still, I was turning to anything that I could in order to erase at least a little bit of the pain inside of me." I can't believe he's been hurt like this. And I feel like a total asshole for being so mad and bitter towards him.

"I'm so sorry..." is all that I can say. I don't think of myself as being the greatest when it comes to assisting others. I just don't want to say the wrong thing, that's most important.

"Just...be there to support me through stuff, please? This is my first relationship since," he gulps, "her."

He continues. "So I might be flawed when it comes to this stuff. I've been hurt, and I'm clingy. Not as clingy as she was, that was bad. But more like I'll probably need constant reassurance that I'm not a terrible boyfriend. I feel safer by your side."

I don't respond verbally but instead bring my arms tightly around his body. I bury my face into the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent.

We sit like that for a few minutes. After a few moments, I pull away from him. It's obvious that he's definitely been crying, his cheeks and eyes both red, his eyes puffy.

"I'm here for you, baby," I whisper softly, before leaning closer to him. My lips meet his soft lips, pulling away, and repeating my actions several times for multiple kisses.

"I promise," I whisper, following the quick kisses.

[ A/N: Alright, thank you all for reading this story. It was sm fun to write, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you, and watch out for more stories in the near future :)) ]