Dangerous Lies

Chapter 5

That night I fell asleep numb and the feeling of loneliness and pain heavy in my heart. as much as I hate that woman, she’s still my mother and I always wonder why she’s so cruel to me. I wonder all over again why she couldn’t accept Jace as he was. I wonder all over again as all my emotions get stirred up once more.

I woke up early, like I do every morning. But this time I remember dreaming of that final night in the hospital. The one where I lost him forever and everything crumbled around me. I spent ten minutes trying to calm my heart as I got ready for my run. This morning I bypassed the kitchen altogether, not want to see her today.

I ran faster and longer than I had any other day. I had more to escape today. I started running when the doctor told us Jace would never wake up again. I started running to escape the pain, the emotion and the need to join him in peaceful oblivion of death. I ran to escape everything and soon I ran to escape the people that wanted to hurt me but shortly after I stopped running from the people. If it wasn’t going to happen now, it was going to happen when I didn’t have a chance to defend myself. After a while, running just made me so tired I couldn’t feel anything. By the time I ended up home, everyone was gone. I’m late so everyone was gone. Already for their days to start, off at school and work.

By the time I rolled into school it is late and I look dead on my feet. By body wanted to give out, my muscles were screaming at me to rest for hours and my head is starting to ache once again. I most likely looked like the walking dead with my hair up in a messy bun, leggings and a random shirt on that at least covered my ass.

Lunch time I spent just as quiet as I had been all day as I picked at my food, not really eating. I could tell the Romero girls were getting pissed off with my lack of conversation and looking like death warmed over.

By gym class they towed me off to the locker room after the Q drew bitches tried to start shit with me but I was oblivious to it. It didn’t matter; I had other stuff to worry about. Like my court date.

Rina glares at me, “what the hell is wrong with you today?”

Jenny rolls her eyes and says, “What she means is, is everything ok? You’re quiet today and we’re worried about you.” Rina mumbles something under her breath but nods as if in agreement with Jenny’s wording.

Giving a noncommittal shrug I say, “I'm fine, just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

Haven nods slowly but her eyes show her worries or concern, “did someone hurt you or bother you? Is that why you’re like this today?”

I shake my head, “nothing like that, just a lot going on is all.”

Lucy crosses her arms, “did you want to talk about it? Maybe we could help?”

I shake my head, “don’t worry about me. I think I'm going to head home though. See you girls tomorrow.” I change quickly and head out before they can say anything.

That night at dinner was much the same as last night. I didn’t fight back and as soon as she didn’t get a reaction she started getting more aggressive until I stood up and stormed out. With only my cell phone and my wallet stuffed into my pockets I walked toward town. I passed a wedding reception and swiped a bottle of vodka and took off to the park.

I drank and drank until the pain in my chest lessened. I drank to dull the memories of Jace; they were just too painful to think about now that he’s gone. I drank to forget about anything she says to me. I drank to feel better, I drank to forget. By the time I was finished what was left of the bottle I stumbled my way into a tattoo parlor and the girl looked up at me. She seemed fairly familiar but I was too drunk to care.