Right Time

Fortieth Dose: Believe

"nasaktan ko nanaman siya."

"anak, hindi."

"dad." she called. Bossing hugged her immediately. "daddy." she cried.

"wag ka na umiyak. Meng, naiintindihan ka ni RJ. Naiintindihan ka niya higit kanino man."

"pero kasi, dad. Di ba? Hindi naman kasi madali yun eh. I was caught off guard, I'm not sure if that's for Nicomaine or Divina." she said between her sobs. "ayoko nang ganoon pero mas ayokong masaktan siya."

"nak, hindi mo naman siya nasaktan. Ilang beses ba namin kailangan sabihin sayo yun? at alam kong alan mo kung para kanino yun. You asked him repeatedly and he answered you consistently."

"pero... I know he's in pain. Nakikita ko sa mga mata niya."

"listen." Bossing started, caressing his daughter's back. "yung sakit na nakikita mo sa mata niya hindi yun dahil nasaktan mo siya kundi dahil alam niyang nahihirapan ka. Alam niyang hindi ka ok, na hindi ka komportable at naguguluhan ka. Kasi alam ni RJ na nasasaktan ka at walang siyang magawa kundi ang tingnan at yakapin ka. Ang paulit-ulit na sabihing ok lang, wala yun, naiintindihan ka niya pero alam niyang hindi mo paniniwalaan kasi masyado mong sinisisi lahat sa sarili mo."

"anak." he mumbled breaking the hug to face her. "kung hindi ka handa ayos lang, kung natatakot ka sabihin mo. Hindi mo kailangang gawin ang isang bagay dahil lang sa napi-pressure ka. Si RJ, yung mga ginagawa niya. Hindi niya ginagawa yun dahil lang may nagsabi sakanya o dahil sa yun yung gusto makita ng tao. Ginagawa niya yun kasi gusto niya at yun yung nararamdaman niya."

Maine is listening to him trying her best not to cry. She knows RJ is sincere but sometimes, especially when the camera is rolling and there's a lot of eyes watching them her pessimistic side will get the best of her and she'll start doubting his intentions. She tries to shrug them off and most of the time wins, but there's a few times when it wins and rule everything. Kalyeserye confuses her most of the time and hell, it's so damn hard to be in there. They tend to blur what's real and reel. Whenever they're being themselves there will be some turn of events that messes up everything. Sometimes she wanted to confront the writer's and tell them to stop messing with their personal feelings, to stop stitching their personal lives with KS, to stop telling them what to do or not to do when they're together. She wants to ask for a little privacy, especially when it comes to their feelings — to whatever they have.

"seryoso siya sayo, anak. Kaya paniwalaan mo yung sinabi niyang handa siya pero wag kang ma-pressure. Panghawakan mo yun na kahit anong mangyari hindi ka niya pababayaan, hindi ka niya susukuan at mas lalong hindi ka niya iiwan. 'nak, hindi mo naman kailangang sabihin sa lahat yung nararamdaman mo kay RJ lang sapat na kung hindi mo pa kaya edi wag mo pilitin basta hayaan mo lang siyang patunayan sayo na mahal ka niya talaga. Hindi yun humihingi ng kahit na anong kapalit ng sapilitan basta paniwalaan mo lang siya. Sapat na yun."

"dad, naniniwala naman ako kay RJ eh kaya lang—"

"Meng." he holds her hand. "subukan mong maniwala sa kanya ng walang pag-aalinlangan. Mahirap at nakakatakot pero anak, hindi ba worth it si RJ? You can always put a gamble kahit isang beses lang anak, but remember to guard your heart always. Ok lang sumugal, ok lang magkamali basta masaya ka at may natutunan ka. Ilang beses din akong sumugal bago naging masaya kaya alam ko yan. Alam na alam ni daddy yan basta whatever you decide dito lang ako, dito lang kami. Susuportahan namin kayong dalawa."

Maine forced a smile and before she can even utter a word she's back to her dad's assuring arms. She wants to tell him that she is trying, she's trying very hard and she knows she can trust him, she actually trusts him, but not with her heart, yet cause at this moment her fears are still bigger and they're winning, but she's willing to risk it with him but not yet... not yet give it time, just a little more time. She prays that as she ponder and weigh things, he won't lose it his patience, she hopes that he can wait, he can still wait for her.

"sorry pala sa kanina. Sorry talaga, I was just... I'm too overwhelmed."

"hindi mo kailangang mag-sorry. Ayos lang." he stated with a smile.

"Alden..."

"Maine." he softly uttered as he hold her hand. "kung hindi ka pa handa ok lang."

"RJ."

He locked their gaze, then he wiped her tears with his thumb. "tahan na. Sabi ko naman sayo maghihintay ako, maghihintay ako hanggang sa maging handa ka na basta tandaan mo, hindi ako mapapagod. Dito lang ako, pangako."

Maine smiled upon hearing it. Her dad is right, he's always right anyway.

"Meng, gusto ko lang malaman mo na yung nasa tula lahat yun totoo at lahat yun para sayo, hindi kay Divina."

"alam ko naman eh, Richard is written all over it. Ayoko lang talagang isipin kasi..."

"I bare my heart on national tv? I'm sorry about that. Sorry if I put you into that spot, alam kong ayaw mo yun. Hindi ko lang napigilan, I took the chance baka kasi di na ko magkaroon sa susunod." Alden smiled, "pero wag ka mag-alala hindi mo naman kailangan sagutin agad yung tanong ko, hindi mo kailangang pilitin sarili mo kung di pa kaya basta sana lang walang magbago sa atin wag mo ko iiwasan ah? kasi di ko kaya yun. Sabi ko nga sigurado na ko sayo, sobrang sigurado at patutunayan ko yun, hayaan mo sana ako."

Maine doesn't know what to say to him so she hugs him instead it, a very tight hug as she let her tears stream down her face and that moment Alden knows by heart what she wanted to say.

She hugged him even tighter then she whispered, "natatakot ako, Richard."

Natatakot ako na baka mapagod ka na kakahintay sakin. Natatakot ako na baka magsawa ka. Natatakot ako na baka pag gising ko isang araw hindi pala totoo lahat 'to. Natatakot ako na baka makakita ka nang mas higit pa sakin. Natatakot ako na baka masaktan lang kita. Natatakot ako na baka nabibigla ka lang. Natatakot ako na baka balang araw pagsisihan mo na ako minahal mo. Natatakot ako na baka mawala ka rin sakin tulad nung iba. Natatakot ako na baka sa huli hindi pala talaga tayong dalawa. Natatakot ako kasi baka hindi ako sapat para sayo. Natatakot ako na baka hindi ko kayang panindigan yung desisyon ko. Natatakot ako na baka matalo lang ako sa laro ng pag-ibig. Natatakot ako na baka mahulog ako ng tuluyan at di makabangon. Natatakot ako para sa ating dalawa. Natatakot ako kasi sobra mo kong mahal at tingin ko hindi ko yun kayang suklian, hindi pa.

"alam ko, alam ko." he assured, Alden faced her. He look straight to her eyes, as if seeing her soul. "kasi natatakot din ako pero handa akong labanan lahat ng takot na meron ako para sayo kasi hindi ko kayang wala ka. Nicomaine, maniwala ka takot na takot akong mawala ka sa buhay ko kaya kahit anong mangyari at kahit gaano pa yan katagal, maghihintay ako. Hihintayin kita, yun lang yung kailangan mong paniwalaan."

Right Time
Fortieth Dose: Believe
11 Feb 2016 19:36

NO WORDS! HUHUHUHU! DI KO NA KAYA 😭😭😭 TEAM REPLAY PA KO SA LAGAY NA 'TO!

- ceeayech ♡