If I Mean Anything To You (Kellic FanFiction)

Chapter 9: Tragedy Strikes In The Cruelest Ways

CHAPTER 9: 

-----Kellin's POV---- 

The day after Vic lost his virginity was a little awkward, and he barely looked me in the eyes. I hated for him to have to feel like he couldn't talk to me about anything, so at about noon, I sat him down at the kitchen table to talk to him. I noticed he winced a little when his ass hit the chair, which almost made me laugh out loud, but I thought maybe it'd be inappropriate. Why I cared what was appropriate and not after I fucked a fifteen year old the night before, I didn't know. 

"Vic, are you okay? You seem very awkward and not yourself today." I probably came off sounding like Dr. Phil, but that didn't stop him from looking anywhere but my face. 

"Yeah, sure, I'm fine," he mumbled. 

I reached across the small table to grasp his hand. "You know you can tell me anything right? Anything at all?" 

"I just... I feel really dirty and like what we did was wrong." He started shaking like he was about to cry, although in my mind, there was nothing to be sad about; maybe a little embarrassed, but not sad. 

"Well, technically, it was wrong in the eyes of the law. But, you have to think that it's what we both wanted. That doesn't make it right, but we can't really fix it now. The truth of the matter is that you're not a virgin anymore, and we have to deal with that." 

"How do I deal with it, Kellin? I..." 

"Do you regret it?" I interjected. 

"What?" He finally met my eyes. His eyes were shaking and watery. I hopped into the seat next to him and put a hand to his cheek. I wiped his eye with my thumb. He smiled and pressed his face into my palm. 

"Do you regret that we had sex last night?" I said again. 

He thought for a beat, then shook his head quickly. We smiled and I kissed him, just a fast peck on the lips. 

"C'mon, let's go get ice cream," I suggested. He smiled like a child, all signs of his embarrassment gone. I grabbed the house keys and we were on our way. I decided that taking a nice walk with Vic is exactly what we needed. We walked hand-in-hand the whole way. We were gone for nearly an hour. 

On our way back, we were walking down the busiest street we had to walk down. Vic thought it'd be funny to kinda shove me. I pretended to be mad about it, and surprise attacked him, hitting him a little harder than I intended. 

He stumbled over himself a little and fell off the curb. Fate is cruel little bitch, because at the very moment Vic fell off the curb, a black Cadenza came around the corner, going at least fifteen miles over the speed limit. I stood frozen in time as the front bumper and Vic's knees met, sending the most sickening crack I'd ever heard rippling through the air. He flew through the air, and landed back on the sidewalk about twenty-five feet ahead of me. The car never even stopped. 

I dropped my ice cream next to me, splattering it on my sneakers. I'm pretty sure I screamed his name. Time slowed down and I felt my limbs get unbelievably heavy as if I was swimming through butterscotch. It seemed like it'd been twenty minutes by the time I was finally kneeling by his side, my hands hovering above him because I was afraid to touch him.

One of his legs was bent at a funny angle and the other's knee looked caved in. His face was splattered with blood; he was sputtering warm red liquid out of his mouth. His chest rose rapidly as if he couldn't breathe right. 

"Oh, my God, Vic. Stay with me Vic, stay with me baby..." I sobbed. A crowd from the surrounding businesses and passersby had formed around us, and traffic had stopped. I could hear about five people frantically talking to 911 operators on their cell phones, trying to get help. All I could do was hold Vic's mangled hand and sob like a child. 

An ambulance arrived in probably record time. They shooed me away while they loaded him onto a stretcher. I tried to get in the ambulance with him but one of the paramedics stopped me. 

"I'm sorry, but you can't come. Blood relatives only." His voice was all business. 

"You don't understand. I'm all he has. Please let me go. Please," I begged. Fresh tears were still coming, falling to the collar of my black shirt. 

He thought for a moment, studying my face before motioning for me to climb in to vehicle. I sat in a corner and watched them work on Vic. I tried to keep up with their fast paced talking, but was lost in a dark abyss of thinking I'd lose him. 

We arrived at the hospital and they started wheeling him towards the ER doors. Once inside, they sprinted for a set of double doors. Doctors and nurses were already crowding around with IVs and different needles, pushing me away from the bed. I tried to follow them through the doors but a male nurse in black scrubs grabbed me around the waist and swung me back into the waiting room. 

I watched the doors swing shut and them get farther and farther away from me. I dropped to my knees and set my head in my hands. I couldn't stop crying so hard I was shaking, and I was shaking so hard it hurt. 

'Why did you let him in?!' I scolded myself. 'You knew something like this would happen! You let this happen! You pushed him! This is your fucking fault! Your fault! Your fucking fault!' My thoughts screamed those three words at me relentlessly, only making me cry harder because it was my fault. 

I don't know how long I sat there, but eventually a nurse called me a cab and sent me home. The apartment was so empty without Vic's adorable laugh, and my bed was much too big without him pressed against my chest. 

I didn't sleep that night, at all. I knew this was my fault and I couldn't get the image of Vic's bloodied face out of my mind. At about six AM, I was so drained, my body forced me to fall asleep, but that didn't stop the nightmares from coming. Nightmares I hadn't had since Vic had saved me from them. I wanted him back so badly.

I couldn't lose this boy without losing myself too.