Best Friend (Shawn Mendes)

27

I try to stop my heavy breathing, and turn and face the door. My back is on my bed and I'm sitting on the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees. The more I think about my mom, the more tears pour out. It's like a trigger for all the sappy feelings I've held in since my last night in Indy. Honestly, right now I just want to go home and sleep in my bed. Go through my moms things, and soak in all the memories.

15 years, 15 years and now she is gone. I finally start paying attention, stop sobbing, and listen to the knocking.

"Ally? Ally, open up. Ally what's wrong? It's Shawn, come on.." he says over and over.

A sob-like cough escapes my mouth as I stand up, stumble towards the door and open it.

I try to keep myself from looking like shit, so I don't make him feel bad for me. It doesn't work. I sob again, seeing his face just makes me want to fall over. I take one step to him and wrap my arms loosely around his neck.

"Shawn... I... I... can't.. I.. an't do.. this," I say sobbing too loud, and I hope in the back of my head no one hears.

He puts his hands on my waist, pushes me off a little, and moves his hands to my cheeks, looking me dead in the eye. I close my mouth, so I can finally comprehend a little.

His head tilts down a little, to match my height. His brown eyes staring at mine, this seems to calm me down and he knows it. "Breathe, Al, breathe," he says quietly. Then, he starts taking steps inward, and I walk backwards, his hands still on my hot cheeks.

My eyes are probably all red and blotchy, but I don't care. My heart beats too fast and I do, I breathe in and out. The more I think of my mom the more I want to cry, but when I see Shawn I feel like there's not one thing to be sad about.

I watch the door close, probably from his foot, and he stops, and rubs his hands over my cheeks, wiping away the wet. "Now," he starts and seems to gather himself. "What's the cause of this?" he asks all formally, almost making me smile.

I tilt my head onto his hand, "well, Ron called me. Said I have one week to leave. I'm leaving... all of this, just to go back to nothing..." I say and my eyes sting again, I stare at the corner of my room. "I have nothing Shawn.." I say and stare back at him.

His eyes are so soft, softer then I've ever seen before. They're almost speaking, telling me that I'll be okay. His eyebrows are scrunched together, he honestly is nervous. He's always scared, seeing me break down like this. I can tel his heart is pumping too. He hides it well.

He opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but nothing comes out. He's baffled by this, "okay," he says, stuttering.

"One week, I'll go with you," he says, of course that's the first thing that comes to his mind. The most caring boy you'll ever meet is Shawn..

I shake my head, causing him to drop his arms and I squint my eyes. "Ron already banned me from you..." I say, stepping back a little. I turn and face the window, which is peeking the stars and single palm tree in the back. My back is towards him, about three feet away. I cross my arms, "I have to go. I'll be fine," I lie.

A single tear falls, but it's not about my mom, it's because I have to leave Shawn. For the first time in my entire life, were separated at the worst possible time.

I can literally hear the sadness in his voice, "no, you aren't fine, Ally. I can tell you've been crooked for a long ass time, you haven't been the same inside.. All this has been saved up inside you for weeks, and now it's coming out. You don't have to be fine all the time, girl. I promise it'll be okay, even if I'm not there," he speaks so confidently, so smoothly. Words roll off his tongue so easily, unlike me.