HELP ME FIX MY BROKEN HEART

Chapter 3

Carla's POV

I sat in the back of the classroom writing in my spiral I could feel her eyes on me but I refuse to make eye contact.  Miss Young was beautiful and only though she has spoken few words, her voice was angelic.  But I refuse to look at her because I don't need this.  I don't need people being nice to me, I just want to get this school year over and see where after high school takes me.  I was taken out of my thoughts as I heard the bell ring.  I kept my head down as students filled the classroom of course sitting in the "groups" and avoiding the desk beside me.  Which I promise you didn't bother me.  When the tardy bell finally rang I looked up and noticed nobody had sat next to me.  I smiled to myself in victory at least one class I know I will be safe in.

As everyone settled down Miss Young walked to the front of the class. "Hello my name is Miss Young and I will be your new teacher this year.  When I call role I would like you to stand up and tell  3 things about yourself."  Great I thought to myself.  "I will start.  As I said before my name is Miss Young.  I am 22, this is my first teaching job, and I just recently graduated from Texas Tech University."  She began calling role and I prayed that when she got to the S's some how mine would be missed.  "Carla Smith." Shit.

All eyes turned to me as she said my name for the 3rd time I just raised my hand and said "here" and kept my head down.  "Carla I would like you to participate with the rest of the class. I just shook my head and everybody started laughing.  I could see the frustration in Miss Young's eye but also a look of concern. That's when Becky, yes my biggest enemy, said, "I'll do it for her, she likes to go by Carl because she's a freak, she thinks she's great a basketball but all in all I would beat her any day, oh and number three nobody cares about her."  Everybody started laughing and I just hung my head down further. 

"Out of my class now" My head shot up and I saw Miss Young standing in front of Becky's desk. 

"Excuse me." Becky said

"I don't think I stuttered I said out of my class then when you can learn to keep your mouth shut until spoken to, then you may rejoin but until then don't, I will not tolerate that in my class do you understand me?"  I just sat frozen in my seat. 

Becky stood up "Do you know who I am you will regret that, and you will regret defending that freak." Becky stormed out of class slamming the door. 

Miss Young turned to the class, "Anyone else have anything bad to say because if you do, there's the door" pointing at it.  All the other students shook there head no.

I just laid my head on my desk, "Oh no what did she do, this is going to make it all worse for me." I thought to myself.  I was zoned out most of the period but I caught some of the more important parts.  We are suppose to write in a journal everyday.  It didn't have to be personal, it could be a story, a poem, or what we would be doing for the weekend.  It would count as a participation grade. I smiled to myself well that grade will be easy.  As class was getting ready to dismiss I was putting my stuff away in my bag when someone was standing in front of my desk. "Carla can you please stay after class."  Fucking great. I just nodded my head without even looking up.

The bell rang and all the students left, Miss Young shut the door, and came and sat in the chair next to me, "look at me please." she said.  I just kept my head down and shook my head.  "Carla, I'm sorry I didn't mean to embarrass you. If I would have known you were shy or uncomfortable then I wouldn't have been so persistent." Then I lost it. 

I shot up from the chair and just looked at her, "Your sorry really, you just couldn't leave me alone after you called me the first time, then you jump down Becky's throat for telling you the truth, and you think you embarrassed me, no you didn't fucking embarrass me, you just made me whole fucking year more miserable by doing what you just did.  Just do me a favor and act like I don't exist like everybody else does, because your just going to make shit worse for me, and don't give me the I was trying to help bullshit because I don't need it okay." I grabbed my bag noticing the shock on Miss Young's face, she tried to stop me by grabbing my wrist, I pulled away from her and stormed out of the class.

The rest of the day went by pretty smooth, other then the occasional glances and snickers.  I knew it was all about what happened earlier.  Just can't wait to hear all the shit that's going to be started now.  I was now heading to the gym, I got my gym clothes out and headed to the other side of the locker room.  No I don't change with the other girls for one I hate my body and don't want anybody seeing me, plus everybody freaks out as soon as I walk in saying I'm looking at their body's or did something inappropriate.  Trust me none of the bitches here are worth the time.  I was having so much trouble last year I almost quit during the season, but me and coach came up with me changing in the junior high locker room so I wouldn't have to deal with them.

I pulled out my long sleeve under armor and put it on.  Not only am I self conscious about my body, I have secrets nobody needs to know about.  I walked out in the gym and grabbed a basketball.  This was my happy place.  I started stretching and shooting around.  Then I heard the voice, "Ok everybody huddle up." No fucking way, I turned to see Miss Young, standing in a t-shirt and basketball shorts.  "I am Miss Young and I am your new coach." Fuck my life!