HELP ME FIX MY BROKEN HEART

Chapter 9

Carla POV

Her lips were inches from mine and my whole body was screaming, "kiss her." I felt her soft hand on my face, her breath on my lips and her arm around my waist, in that split second nothing else matter.  "Stop", what the hell did I just say, she looked at me confused and hurt.  "I'm sorry I can't." and I stood up quickly and looked down at Miranda, "You are beautiful, sweet, and everything that will make someone happy, but please don't think that's me because I am not worth it." I turned to run towards the door but Miranda grabbed my wrist. I refused to turn and look at her.

I felt her walk up behind me, "Don't every say you are not worth it, you don't get to decide what I feel is worth it to me" She whispers in my ear.  It sends chills down my spin and I can honestly say I have never felt like this before.  I turn around and look at her. "Miranda I am all kinds of fucked up and have way to many demons, please just trust me when I say just stay away."  I tell her, it's killing me to be this way with her but I know it's for her own good. I have never wanted to kiss someone so bad.  Hell I've never wanted to kiss someone period.

Her beautiful hazel eyes are starring into mine, "Let me help you Carla, I know you wont believe me when I say I've been in your shoes, I know what your going through."  I just chuckled to myself, "Miranda you only know what you've seen and you don't know half of the shit I'm dealing with.  I need to get home, I have things I need to do."  I turned around and walked out of the weight room picking up my bag on the way on the way out.  I'm sitting outside of my house my dad's truck is still not back, I honestly don't know what to do.  I mean I really don't miss him and I inherited money from my mom on my 18th birthday after she passed away.

I go into the house and nothing has changed which means he hasn't been home.  God this past week has been amazing.  I sit down in front of the tv and turn on my xbox, I'm really trying to concentrate on Call of Duty, but all I can think about is Miranda, how close our lips were.  How bad I wanted to feel her lips on mine, how I wanted to taste her, kiss her, and hold her.  Damn this is going to be one Hell of a weekend.

I woke up Monday morning to my alarm blaring. Ugh fuck I don't want to go to school today.  Today marks 1 year that I lost my sister and my mom, maybe I should visit there graves today and tae flowers.  I haven't been back since the day of the funeral.  I fumble out of bed and start getting ready for the day, can't really miss school because we are getting ready for exams before the holiday break, and honestly I really don't want to go another day without seeing Miranda.

I make my way into the school and something seems odd today, all the kids stop and stare at me and are giving me weird looks.  Great not today people, I can't handle this shit today.  I go straight into school to my locker.  There are balloons and flowers sitting in front of my locker.  I stand there shocked and reach down and grab the letter that's attached to the flowers,

Dear Carla,

Congrats on killing your family 1 year ago today.  To bad it wasn't you instead of your sister.  She was always better than you anyways.  Have a wonder day. 

I just stared at the note what kind of fucked up person would do this I mean really.  I picked up the vase of flowers and threw them as far as I could I watched the vase shatter as it hit the wall.  "You think it's funny, go ahead and laugh, laugh all you fucking want." Everybody was starring at me with wide eyes as I ran to the bathroom.  I locked myself in the last stall and took out my best friend.  I looked at the shiny piece of metal and pulled up my sleeve and my made a few more fresh cuts.  I got myself cleaned up just as the bell rang and made my way to first period.

I walked into Miranda's room and glanced at her, I could see the look of concern in her face but she just gave me a fake smile which I returned.  I didn't really pay much attention to the lecture, I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Miranda's desk phone ringing.  I watched as she answered the phone and her whole demeanor changed. When she hung up the phone, "Class you are dismissed early, Carla I need to speak to you before you leave please.

Shit, I had a feeling this was going to be about Friday, I watched as all the students left the room, Miranda walked to her door and closed it.  She started walking to me and I just ducked my head, "Miranda if this is about Friday please..." I was quickly interrupted, "Carla this isn't about Friday, even though right now I wished it was."

I had a confused look on my face as she sat down beside me and took my hands in hers, "Carla that was Mrs. White on the phone, I have some horrible news.  It's about your father.  Carla I am sorry, they found your father dead this morning." 

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