HELP ME FIX MY BROKEN HEART

Chapter 11

Miranda POV

Carla fell asleep last night in my arms, and it was amazing.  I moved up to my bed and held her all night, I kept wondering how I was her first kiss.  Omg the kiss, I have never felt or experienced anything like that.  I mean I've kissed a few people but nothing where everything in my body feels like it's on fire.  I started to stir and I reached my hand to where Carla had been laying.  My hand hit empty bed sheet's.  Shit, I hope she didn't leave.  I get up and notice she's not in the bedroom so I start to look for her.

I'm looking through the house and can't find her, damnit, how did she get out with me not knowing, I hear sound coming from my music room so I make my way down the hall.  Carla is sitting at my piano with her back to me playing a song and then she starts to sing.

Father, I'm gonna say thank you

Even if I'm still hurt

Oh, I'm gonna say bless you

I wanna mean those words

Always wished you the best

I, I prayed for your peace

Even if you started this

This whole war in me

You did your best or did you?

Sometimes I think I hate you

I'm sorry, dad, for feelin' this

I can't believe I'm sayin' it

I know you were a troubled man

I know you never got the chance

To be yourself, to be your best

I hope that heaven's given you

A second chance

Father, I'm gonna say thank you

Even if I don't understand

Oh, you left us alone

I guess that made me who I am

Always wished you the best

I, I, I pray for your peace

Even if you started this

This whole war in me

You did your best or did you?

Sometimes I think I hate you

I'm sorry, dad, for feelin' this

I can't believe I'm sayin' it

I know you were a troubled man

I know you never got the chance

To be yourself, to be your best

I hope that heaven's given you

You did your best or did you?

Sometimes I think I hate you

I'm sorry, dad, for feelin' this

I can't believe I'm sayin' it

I know you were a troubled man

I know you never got the chance

To be yourself, to be your best

I hope that heaven's given you

A second chance.

As she finishes the song I have tears streaming down my face, not only did I feel the pain in that song, but it was beautiful, damn she can sing.  Is there anything this girl can't do.  I see her lay her head down on the piano, I walk up and wrap my arms around her waist, this causes her to jump and tense.  Once she realizes it's me she cuddles into me.  "I'm sorry, umm how much of that did you hear." She says to me.  "All of it and you are amazing, I think if basketball isn't your calling singing is."  I can see her blush, damn that's cute.

We sit there a minute and I want to ask a question, but I'm not sure if I should, fuck it, "Care to explain what that song means." I ask.

She looks at me, I can tell she wants to tell me something, so I just wait.  "Let's just say after my mom and sister died, I think my dad did to, he changed into someone I didn't know.  I grew up a daddy's girl, I went hunting, fishing, and searching for arrowheads.  Whatever he did, I did because I thought he my hero," A single tear slid down her cheek, I wiped it away with my thumb, "But?" I said questioning hoping she would continue.  I had a feeling I already knew where this was going.

She took a deep breath, "Like I said everything changed, he started coming home drunk, one night he came into my room, and said if he didn't have a wife I would need to be.  At first it was maybe 1-2 times a month, then weekly, then almost every night.  I would make excuses and say at least he doesn't beat me, or he's just lonely.  That all changed though to, he started becoming violent, he'd hit, throw me into things, and his "play time" became a lot rougher.  The day I went off on you when you asked about the bruise on my face was the first time he had ever hit me.  I found my release in cutting, all the pain of losing my family was unbearable, my dad changing, kids at school, me knowing I was a lesbian.  It just got to be to much."

I didn't know what to say, I just sat there shocked, what the hell do you say to someone who has been through this. I just shook my head, wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into me. "I know your 18, but what are you going to do now."

"When my mom died she left in her will that when I turned 18 that I would inherit money, it's definitely enough to get me through.  So now it's just planning my dad's funeral.  It's going to be huge and everybody is going to be there because he was such a "nice" guy.  You know I hadn't seen him in a week and a half, he just disappeared and I don't know where he went, and I didn't care, he wasn't hurting me, but do you know what I realized.  He was hurting and I never tried to help." That's when she lost it.

I just pulled her closer, running my fingers through her hair, "Carla please don't blame yourself, he should have never laid a hand on you whether he was hurting or not. Second I am so sorry that this happened to you. Nobody deserves what you've been through. You have to promise me something no more cutting come to me and let me help you."
She dropped her head "I can't promise you that right now." Those words broke my heart but I wasn't giving up on her. I lifted her head up and looked into her eyes "we'll work on it". I leaned in and gave her a small peck on the lips. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she pressed her lips and body more into me. Her tongue slid across my bottom lip, I parted my lips and her tongue slipped into my mouth. I couldn't help but release a soft moan. She started trailing kisses down my cheek and my neck when she slowly nibble right above my collarbone a moaned louder. I wanted nothing more than to take her back to the bedroom and show her what love was supposed to feel like but I knew now was not the right time. "Carla" I whisper softly. She comes back up and pecks my lips softly, "i'm sorry I think I got a little carried away". She says and we both laughed.

"Will you come with me to the funeral home?" She asked me. "of course but we need to eat something first" and we make our way into the kitchen.

A/n
The song is a Demi lovato song. It's an awesome song check it out.