laying awake.
counting the nights.
remembering the past.
recalling the fights.
maybe if I had given in.
if I had broken down the wall.
you would still be here.
to brace my fall.
damn.
the moment we met.
your soft brown eyes.
a smile that stood out from the rest.
i wish i had said something.
a line both clever and smart.
that would end with us both falling into eachothers arms.
but maybe if i am being honest
any words i muttered would have been mutated at best.
because the image of you stole my breath.
lost in the moment.
breaking down my defense.
you terrified me.
with that wonderful laugh.
effortlessly making me forget my horrid past.
and here i am.
laying alone in my bed.
you left me.
making me wish i was dead.
i should have let you break down my walls.
i should have let you brace my fall.
because at least then i could have died in you arms.
maybe i'm sorry.
i never knew that protecting myself from someone i love could do so much harm.
