"so why do you still love him? why do you still have feelings for him? i don't understand it. he's destroying you. your love for him is destroying you from the inside out. so how come that even though he's causing you so much pain you're still in love with him?" she asked and i shrugged.
"i don't know" i admitted and smiled bitterly. "i really don't know. maybe it's his sweet smile - this smile that takes my breath away every time i see it. or maybe it's his eyes. his beautiful dark brown eyes that i seem to get lost in every time. or maybe it's his words. maybe it's those sweet words he utters when he talks to me; those sweet words that make my heart skip a beat. or maybe it's all of that. maybe it's all of him that makes me stay in love with him. his smile, his eyes, his words, his everything. maybe it's all of it. ... or maybe i love the destruction. maybe i love the destruction he causes. maybe i'm addicted to this destruction, to this pain. maybe i'm forced to feel this way forever and maybe that's why i'm still so in love with him", i said and she looked at me, her eyes filled with worry.
"you need to get over him, you know that" she said and i laughed bitterly.
"i know. it's not like i don't want to. i just can't. i can't get over this boy. i cannot get over him no matter what i do. because every time i think i'm over him he comes back and makes me fall back in love with him just as hard as before. or maybe even harder. and i don't want it anymore. but i can't help it. i cannot move on, no matter how hard I try."
