"do not belittle yourself," they say
and so i tried
but there is something
behind my mind
saying i will fail.
and so i didn't mind it,
pushed it away
but it keeps echoing
this is so frustrating.
i need a rest,
i don't know what kind of rest.
but this needs to stop—
this thoughts clouding
this thoughts confusing.
because i'm tired of it,
tired of understanding
tired of convincing
tired of thinking.
nobody even understands me,
i want to cry hardly
and shut these voices down.
but at the end of the day,
crying
and screaming
and blaming
and hating
doesn't change
or do anything.
